Dating in 30s

[Feierabend1]

I'm on the brink of turning 30 and I'm looking at taking a fresh approach to dating in the new decade ahead. Although I'm still in the 'building' phase of my life, I'm now looking towards creating some stability for myself.

I've always been a risk-taker: my twenties involved many wild adventures when travelling and I took a huge leap of faith stepping away from a career path to set up a business. It's been rewarding - both spiritually and financially. I'd like to share it with a partner: put down roots; have a family; find a balance together between wanderlust and making a home, career and entrepreneurship. The trouble is, I don't often meet people with the same drive, energy or appetite for embracing life that I have, least of all when dating.

Similarly, I feel somewhat vulnerable. After a huge amount of hard work and self-belief, I've been fortunate. I don't want to attract a 'cocklodger' or someone more interested in sharing a comfortable lifestyle than sharing a life with me.

I wonder what advice you might all have? How should I set my standards here? Or, perhaps, you might have words of encouragement as to how love and dating worked out for you in your thirties?

Your specification should start with:
He must be as independent a personality as you are.
Do not let him move in within 6 months. Weekends or birthdays OK.
He must have plans, ambition, Not merely dreams.

Two very driven people together may not work. Don’t discount the quiet guy who cheerleads for you but doesn’t compete. Obviously he should also be sane, solvent etc…

Two very driven people together may not work.

I was thinking this.

Obviously it largely depends on circumstances and the form this drive takes. But the combination of an adventurous person and a more grounded one does seem to work a lot of the time.

Well you just keep things, financial things at least, very equal and make sure over time that they remain that way.

But sometimes writing a list of things to tick might not allow a relationship to grow. We, H & I, have grown together as a couple. It was attraction at first but after marriage, house, couple of kids, we are different people with different priorities and responsibilities than we used to be.

But for you, find someone who at the very least champions your successes, enjoys your leisure time, makes you laugh and you fancy romantically. The rest should grow. One step at a time OP! Have fun.