Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do you have a brother?

117 replies

watchesrubber · 05/02/2023 21:31

I have a brother and I'd say we were reasonably close. We talk or text once every two weeks or so. Most of it is me texting him and him suddenly remembering he has a sister (ha!) and responding. When we do text, we always exchange 'love yous' etc and occasionally he'll randomly message me to say he thinks I'm great etc. We live about 400 miles apart so not that easy to see each other regularly.

Just wondering if others have brothers and what your relationship is like?

OP posts:
Bubbles2022 · 06/02/2023 09:08

I have three brothers. They are all a lot older then me. The youngest is 18 years older than me.

I'm super close to the two oldest. Can rely on them for anything and we see each other weekly if not more.

The youngest, we don't really get on. We meet up a few times a year mainly just for the kids to see each other

FluffyHamster · 06/02/2023 09:11

I have a brother four years older than me. Lives 400 miles away and I haven’t seen him for 10 years. Occasionally exchange messages and a photo but not much more. Our lives are very different. He has been very unpleasant to me over the years, partly because I believe he has some undiagnosed mental health issues, but I don’t feel any desire to increase contact. He also owes me money which I will be unlikely to get before he dies.
it’s very sad, as I have no other family.

closingscore · 06/02/2023 09:11

I have one, but I'm closer to his wife than him.

I feel like he's always had a chip on his shoulder about me since childhood (he was always naughty, didn't do well at school etc and thought I was a golden child because I behaved myself)

I do speak to him but mainly to discuss DF, we don't have much in common really.

SomeCommonThing · 06/02/2023 09:13

My brother lives abroad with his wife and kids, we get on fine and I of course love him but we don't talk often.
Additionally, myself and my sister have nothing to do with our mother, whereas our brother still does. He flew back to England a few months ago and didn't even tell me he was in the country, he visited our mother and I found out after he'd gone home, through someone else who didn't realise I didn't know.

SchoolTripDrama · 06/02/2023 09:19

I have an older brother and we most certainly do not say things like "love you!" Confused
We speak briefly about our Mum (Dad has passed) or the kids, every few weeks or so. We don't chat or talk about anything personal. Necessary stuff only

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 06/02/2023 09:20

I have one, five years younger, we send each other stuff that we know will make the other laugh most days, and see each other about two/three times a week.

Puppers · 06/02/2023 09:25

I have some siblings I’m not close to. We don’t really talk much. Just see each other at family events really. No fallings out, just not close.

I have one brother who I’m close to. We speak to each other most days and are close to each other’s children. I think he’d rather die than tell me he loves me or hear me tell him that I love him. But I know he does 😉

worried4698643 · 06/02/2023 09:28

I have a brother. See each other fortnightly. Speak 2/3 times a week. Get on great and he would be my 'shits gone wrong' phone call

I don't think he has ever said I love you though, or told me I'm good at anything 😂

LakeTiticaca · 06/02/2023 09:52

Yes I have a brother but thanks to my mother awarding him God-like status, we have had no relationship for the past 50 years and that is unlikely to change at this late stage

HeartShapedSea · 06/02/2023 10:11

Older brother.
We were fairly close growing up but are now no contact. It upsets me greatly but after putting up with years of bullying from his wife for the sake of everyone else plus a final long abusive message I had to break contact completely.
It breaks my heart that my child will never know him but I dont see any other solution to protect myself and my family.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 06/02/2023 10:14

Two brothers, one lives abroad and I can reliably expect a call on my birthday and at Xmas, plus emails occasionally. The other just got back in touch after a silence of nearly 20 years (after breaking up with his wife but I'm not reading anything into that 😉). I leave it to him to initiate contact - he can be touchy and thin skinned and is I suspect a bit raw after the separation so I tread carefully.

Fidgety31 · 06/02/2023 11:18

No contact with both of mine . We have nothing in common and were never close so no great loss

whoruntheworldgirls · 06/02/2023 11:20

I do, get on fine now, hated each other as kids and never spent any time together.
Rarely message each other, though a bit more so now he has a baby, never said love you to each other.

jacult · 06/02/2023 11:28

5yrs between us and we are very close - one of my best friends!!

custardbear · 06/02/2023 11:44

Yep, he's 15 months older. We used to fight so much as kids, and we just changed and became better friends once we turned late teens. He is high functioning autistic - brutally honest and stuck in his ways and that does mean he upsets me quite a lot but I'm flexible people pleaser so often just accommodate. He really does upset me sometimes with his ways

wellpaddedintherear · 06/02/2023 11:51

i have three brothers(last two are twins)
id be over the moon if any died tomorrow-all 3 are narcissistic bullies and I was the scapegoat
theyve tried to turn everyone against me-my children,my friends,my partner-if someone smiled at me-they’d be on the case to blacken my name-I’m a slag who belongs in broadmoor
i moved away to get rid of them and they are still stalking me

id throw a street party if they dropped dead

Katyrosebug · 06/02/2023 13:30

I have 2, theres a 10 year age gap and a 13 year age gap, me being the oldest. I absolutely adore both of my brothers!
10 years ago me and the youngest used to spend loads of time together when he as a teen, I'd take him shopping at the weekends, sometimes we'd go to the cinema during the week etc.. I also used to take them on holiday, but they both got older and obviously have there own lives now, I see them at least once a week, my husband works with my baby brother so he seems him more then I do.
For my wedding, as we got engaged and married in 10 weeks, they literally pulled out all the stops, calling in favours to help me get things together.
I also moved back from Portugal a few years ago, both of them really helped me through a difficult time. I love them both so very much and would be so lost if they weren't in my life.
To add, they are both terrible texters and callers, I usually have to speak to the youngests gf to get a response 😂

Sarahtm35 · 25/05/2023 22:31

I have 2 older brothers. One lives 5 minutes walk away and the other 2 miles away but we’re not close. They moved out by the time I was 10 And we didn’t have much family time growing up as our dad was an alcoholic, so I think this has effected our relationship as adults. My eldest brother was an amazing brother though when I was younger, very sensible compared to my dad and used to help me with my homework. I miss him, but he’s quite a serious character and I can’t seem to gel with him these days.

Marineboy67 · 25/05/2023 23:02

I have one older brother, he stayed with my mother whilst I was put in to care. I met up with him in our 30s but we're worlds apart as people. I tried to maintain a relationship but nothing was ever reciprocated. I've given up the last 12/15 years.

Justcallmebebes · 25/05/2023 23:21

Marineboy67 · 25/05/2023 23:02

I have one older brother, he stayed with my mother whilst I was put in to care. I met up with him in our 30s but we're worlds apart as people. I tried to maintain a relationship but nothing was ever reciprocated. I've given up the last 12/15 years.

That's really sad. I'm sorry you were put into care. What was your childhood like compared to his?

I have a brother but we went to boarding schools v far apart when we were quite young so never really grew up together. I haven't seen or spoken to him in nearly 30 years. He's my only sibling and I do think of him every now and then

Purplefoalfoot · 25/05/2023 23:33

Really interested to know what helps brothers/ sisters stay close and what causes others to grow apart. My two (one girl one boy) are best best friends and adore each other but they are just 2 and 4 so it kills me to think they might not speak or remember each others birthdays as they grow older.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 25/05/2023 23:59

My brother and I used to be best friends up to our 30s. We'd instant message each other for an hour or so most days. Then he got married and dropped me like a hot brick. We exchange polite birthday and Christmas wishes and we visit our parents together once or twice a year (I see them all the time) but he's very much like a guest on those occasions, everyone being very polite. He's absolutely unrecognisable from the fun, down-to-earth person he used to be. He and his wife Facetime her family every day but he'll rarely respond if I text him. I didn't even get a 'get well' message or card when I was in hospital. They have a child now and I'm so sad I can't be a proper auntie to him. Our relations were all absolute crap when we were growing up and I never could have imagined it all repeating itself like this. It hurts every day.

sparklingwater1 · 26/05/2023 00:06

One older brother, 3 year gap and we stay about a 10 minute walk away. We're very close, he's a brilliant uncle to my 2 boys and although we stay very close demographically, we are very aware of giving each other space with families etc. We get together with partners/ the kids/ our parents probably once/ twice a month but just the 2 of us maybe a once every 3/4 months around family/ work commitments.

We have a family chat just us two and our parents which goes daily with bits and pieces. I also chat a few times a wee separately to his partner and we go for drinks/ lunch ourselves as well about 3-4 times a year above what we already see if each other in family settings.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 26/05/2023 00:32

have one
until 2021 we hadnt spoken in 15 plus years
even now we only speak every few months through fb

ReadySteadyLife · 26/05/2023 08:18

I have one older brother. Although I wish differently, we’re hardly speak to one another.