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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I end things?

2 replies

WeeOne27 · 05/02/2023 10:48

Hi, looking for advice.
Sorry long post.
I'm a single parent to 2 daughters aged 10 and 7. I work full time, shifts in a hospital. I have a boyfriend, he was a friend for a couple years then about a year ago we decided to try being a couple having both becoming single in the months leading up to that. The first 6 months were great. I even considered having another child in the future with him. Then my life became more full as we came out of lock downs, kids and their activities taking up more time, work became extremely stressful, then I got covid and boyfriend stayed with us for 2 weeks to look after me and kids whilst I was ill. Then things didn't go back to how they were. I found it extremely difficult having him in my space 24/7 and I find it hard having him over at weekends when I'm trying to do all the chores, housework, taxi kids. Life continued to get even busier and stressful in the run up to Christmas and my mum had to stop work, and has now been diagnosis with alzheimer's. I told him in December I have decided that I'm not having any more children and I'm not getting married again and explained all this and reasons and told him it's up to him if he wants to stay or go as I know how those things are important to him. He said he'll think about things over the next while. Now my mum has been diagnosed and my mental health is so low I've taken some time off work. I feel a million miles away from the person I was when we got together a year ago, and any spare time i get, I need to spend it alone for my sanity, or spend with my mum while we have the best of her. I'm not sure if I should end things as I don't feel I've got the time or energy for a relationship any more. Advice welcome 🙏

OP posts:
KissTheRainAgain · 05/02/2023 10:56

I think it would be a favour to him and yourself to end it. No one wants to be seen as just another thing getting in the way of things, you can really hurt people with that.

Is it possible to review things a year from now, if he’s still single?

Goatbilly · 05/02/2023 13:23

It sounds like you don't have the capacity for a relationship. Maybe in the initial throws of the relationship, another child and marriage felt possible, but now with the realities as they are, with your mother's diagnosis etc., life is different. It's good you've re evaluated things and put yourself and your children first.

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