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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To expect contact while he's away and feeling like I'm bottom of his list

31 replies

Sundaycoffee · 04/02/2023 14:28

AIBU to expect contact from my bf while he is on a business trip? Don't live together and no kids but I'm starting to feel like I'm at the very bottom of his list of priorities. The busy excuse is coming up a lot.
He has been away for work Monday to Friday this week. I got a 2 word message on Monday night. I replied Tuesday: left on read. Sent him a little silly message on Wednesday: left on read. Nothing until I messaged again Friday asking what time his flight landed.
He returned last night and I asked how his trip went..... "busy". I said you must be tired and hope it went well and we can catch up face to face on Sunday (the day we said we would next see each other). He replied saying he thinks he just wants to chill on his own as he's had a busy week. I responded saying that was fine and I'll just give him a call tomorrow (today). Sent him a message this morning saying let me know when is a good time to catch up today and he's replied saying "can we do tomorrow as I've got chores to do and the sport is on"
I don't doubt he is busy but AIBU to expect a bit more than this? It's been a week and he hasn't asked how I am or actually any question at all.

OP posts:
SplunkPostGres · 04/02/2023 18:16

I would talk with him about how his communication style affects you and how it makes you feel. You need something more than he’s currently giving you. How he responds to that will tell you how he really feels about you. If he makes more effort to communicate with you , then you know he really wants to make an effort for the relationship. If not, then I’d recommend walking away.

JorisBonson · 05/02/2023 08:10

How long have you been together?

WandaWonder · 05/02/2023 08:13

I want to know my husband arrived safely and I can contact him in an emergency, that is it

I am the same if I go away

Stop chasing him

Ladyofthelake53 · 05/02/2023 08:21

Sorry i mean this kindly. He should be looking forward and happy to see you if youve not seen each other. Thats not right him chilling on his own. The not messaging also says he cant be bothered

Id just finish it, he obviously hasnt got the balls to

KissTheRainAgain · 05/02/2023 09:40

I just left someone for exactly this reason. End it now and preserve some of your dignity before it’s in tatters.

If you have differing levels of need for attention, it will be a constant hurt and disappointment for you.

How were things before the trip?

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/02/2023 09:41

Please don't chase him. He's just not interested in you I'm afraid.

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