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Original poster

Husbands a pure rotten cunt

39 replies

Bubblemonkey · 04/02/2023 11:00

More interested in his bastarding hobbies than his family. I’m || this close to smashing his fucking guitars up & cutting up his running clothes. I have had more than enough of his horseshit. All he keeps saying is he needs hobbies because life shouldn’t revolve around our baby 🤨

is 2 months in too early to get a divorce?

OP posts:
CantAskAnyoneElse · 04/02/2023 11:20

KangarooKenny · 04/02/2023 11:01

No, wish I’d done it years ago. Independence is the way forward.

Independence is the way forward.

This one here.
Honestly, I’m suprised women still insist on relationships/marriage/kids with men.
Shit almost never works out well for the woman.

GCAcademic · 04/02/2023 11:20

My mum used to call women married to men with hobbies (for example if liked golfing) golfing widow.

I’ve never liked that term. In most cases, men who die don’t actively choose to do so and to leave their wives widowed, so can’t really be compared to these chronic responsibility shirkers. I think the term “selfish prick”, or the OP’s very excellent description in the title, is precise enough.

LindorDoubleChoc · 04/02/2023 11:21

You do seem unusually angry. Lots of people don't know quite how to act when a baby comes into the family - you see countless posts from women on Mumsnet saying "wtf have I done, I wish I hadn't done it". Do you feel the same way as him?

Two months is so new, your baby is so young and presumably a lot of work. Ask him not to spend more than, say, an hour a day on his hobbies? How would that go down? Argue that he should be in charge of the baby solo for at least an hour a day and more at the weekends so that you get time to have a nap, have a shower in peace etc.

Unless you have a hobby that really interests you and you are missing out on now it would be spectacularly petty to invent one just to make your point.

Presumably you loved him enough to want to have sex with him 11 months ago so going from that to divorce seems way too drastic.

ShandaLear · 04/02/2023 11:23

If he needs hobbies, you need equal time for hobbies. Join a gym, running club, book club, schedule long walks to a destination coffee shop, meet a friend, do an evening class, zumba, go to your mums (and have a nap for a few hours). Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Even if the thought leaves you cold get out of the house once or twice a week in the evening for a few months just to drive home the requirement for equal time free.

In a way he’s right - you shouldn’t give up hobbies when a baby is born, though you may need to scale them back for a while - but if he denies you the opportunity to have equal hobby time then it’s an issue. If he’s using his hobbies to duck out of his fair share of the jobs then that’s another issue. If you want him to give up his hobbies so he can sit on the sofa with you watching reruns of the Great British Bake Off then YABU.

Botw1 · 04/02/2023 11:24

There's nothing wrong with having a hobby.

But it can't be given priority over everything else

Was he like this before you got pregnant

How often do you leave him with the baby alone and do your hobby?

Daffodilis · 04/02/2023 11:24

LindorDoubleChoc · 04/02/2023 11:21

You do seem unusually angry. Lots of people don't know quite how to act when a baby comes into the family - you see countless posts from women on Mumsnet saying "wtf have I done, I wish I hadn't done it". Do you feel the same way as him?

Two months is so new, your baby is so young and presumably a lot of work. Ask him not to spend more than, say, an hour a day on his hobbies? How would that go down? Argue that he should be in charge of the baby solo for at least an hour a day and more at the weekends so that you get time to have a nap, have a shower in peace etc.

Unless you have a hobby that really interests you and you are missing out on now it would be spectacularly petty to invent one just to make your point.

Presumably you loved him enough to want to have sex with him 11 months ago so going from that to divorce seems way too drastic.

What the heck is unusually angry?

Thelnebriati · 04/02/2023 11:32

What the everloving fuck did I just read? Yet again, a poster decides its the OP's job to manage her feckless husband. God forbid he should be an adult and do that himself.

OP, tell him straight to his face - you're happy because you got what you wanted, a little wifey trapped at home with a baby while you carry on like nothing happened.

Natty13 · 04/02/2023 11:55

I'm a runner. Dated a lot of other runners back in my late 20s and the ones who said they wanted kids I always asked them how would that work with both of us out the house 4-6 times a week for many hours training? Their reaction said it all - some has clearly considered this already and some looked at you blankly as if it was obvious that their life wouldn't change but you'd go from 40 mile weeks to 0.

I was very, very careful about choosing the man I made the father of my children. I was under no illusions that he would magically step up/become tidier/whatever once kids came along so he had to demonstrate being able to put me (and our pets) first sometimes. My parents really drummed that in to me and my siblings about what a good partner looks like.

I strongly think those of us with daughters need to teach and show them what healthy relationships are so they don't repeat the same cycles as all these millions of women trapped in crappy relationships with selfish pricks.

Natty13 · 04/02/2023 11:58

Sorry if thst comes across blaming women for poor choices I absolutely didn't mean that. I just see so many who had a skewed idea of what was "normal" growing up and therefore have no idea what a decent man looks like then end up getting let down.

We can't control others and can't stop men from being selfish cunts, we can only control ourselves and choose not to deal with those ones.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 04/02/2023 12:00

He does sound like a selfish cunt. Make your voice heard - demand equal time off.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 04/02/2023 13:00

He gets 10 hours a week for hobbies? You get 10 hours a week for hobbies....you'll have plenty of time when he's looking after the baby!

ZaphodDent · 04/02/2023 13:18

He sounds selfish and thoughtless.

When we had our first DC, I felt pretty clueless. Thankfully my DW knew what she was doing and I followed her instructions, but for example he wouldn't take milk when I bottle fed him and things like that. Felt a bit frustrated and useless and struggled with this crying/crapping machine.

Once DS was able to play and respond and all the rest, then I sprang into action and enjoyed taking him off on my own while she relaxed and did what she wanted.

Grasping at straws perhaps but maybe your DH is not bonding with the baby but will as it gets older?

SparkleMama2 · 30/12/2024 20:31

Urgh, this is so bloody typical. Why are men such selfish arseholes?! The runner's comment - so apt!

gamerchick · 30/12/2024 20:33

SparkleMama2 · 30/12/2024 20:31

Urgh, this is so bloody typical. Why are men such selfish arseholes?! The runner's comment - so apt!

Why on earth would you bump a 2 yr old thread?

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