Is it me

[Donewiththedrama]

Long story short. Married 10 years, couldn't have children, found out he had children from past relationship. Things went downhill, I got close to someone and this all came out. We tried again but I've never been happy and resent, when I try to end things he makes life difficult crying, saying he cannot live without me and will tell everyone what I did. I give in as its too stressful to go through and have nowhere to go as have pets that are my world which I.will.not separate from. Renting with pets is so hard. I'm really over a barrel here and am becoming more depressed. Another point, I earned less for years but paid exactly half of everything, this put me in debt to keep up although now with a different job I'm nearly there financially. I still pay exactly half of everything down to £20 each for a £40 food shop or £15 each for a takeaway. I am never cuddled although now confess I don't feel it at all anyway. Am I really that bad a person I deserve this?

How old are you? At what point did you find out that he had children? Before you got married?
I was in a relationship for 13 years that realistically should have ended after 2. I felt trapped like you do. He left me in the end, it was hard but it's the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm so much happier now - I'd say it took a month for me to turn a corner. A month, after being unhappy for 11 years. I'll use the mn adage; you only get one life x

You should leave them. You're not happy and are only there because of the emotional blackmail (crying and threatening to tell people). You can find places that allow pets. Start looking and when you find somewhere, move out. Life is too short to spend it miserable.

Make plans to leave. Start by searching for somewhere to rent which accepts pets. Get a deposit together so you can leave, just having a plan and being proactive will help you feel better. This relationship is causing you to be unhappy and depressed and you deserve so much more than this. Good luck!