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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to tell him I see him as more than friends - help

18 replies

Littlelillyy · 03/02/2023 19:15

So I met this guy at the airport half a year ago,
we had an instant connection and talked from beginning till end. Met him at the check in and sat next to each other in the plane till we had our luggage.

I had a boyfriend when I met him and he knew, so we really started off as friends. My relationship stranded after 2 months. We went out together a couple times, always as friends. The connection between us though, is really strong. We have the same interests, same lifegoals and the same humour. We both cried on the first night we met as we got into such deep convo's and I just can't discribe the feeling I have when I see him it's like we've known eachother for a lifetime. We got kicked out by the owner of the lounge as it was 2 am and they wanted to close, we got there at 7.

We are both very busy with our own businesses, he isn't really a texter either so we don't text everyday. We send eachother reels on instagram and message in between I would say every other day or once in every 2/3 days. We do call sometimes. He had to go to Abu Dhabi for a business meeting the next day and called me the night before that he had really bad anxiety. Asked me what he should do, if he should go or not and such things. He is normally very 'manly' so him letting his guard down around me indicated to me he cares for my opinion and he feels safe to tell me those things.

Anyhow, I can't help it, I am in love with this man. I am in my late 20's and he is in his early 30's. How am I going to let him know I love him as more than friends? Due to my previous relationship we started a strong friendship and I am not sure if he knows how much I love him. God, I am not even sure he loves me as more than friends but I am hoping he does. The way he looks at me when we are together tells me he does. I just don't know how to tell him

OP posts:
NHSmummy84 · 03/02/2023 19:29

Just tell him straight. Honestly if the connection is like you say, then I don't think you have anything to worry about.
But....if he doesn't feel the same, he may choose to back off. But you should say something or you will always wonder what if!
It's probably going to take a bit of bravery on your part, but I think it will pay off, then at least you know either way.
Good luck!

Littlelillyy · 03/02/2023 19:33

Thank you for your reply! Should I do it face to face or send him a message so he has time to think about it? I don't even know how I am going to formulate this and even thinking about it gives me anxiety! 😂

OP posts:
NHSmummy84 · 03/02/2023 19:36

If it was me, I'd send a message. It's less pressure for both of you. There's pros and cons to both face to face and messaging, but I think I'd definitely message. I'm a bit of a wimp though! 😂.

Littlelillyy · 03/02/2023 19:38

I am not normally, but this gives me spaghetti legs! 😆 Never had trouble getting men (ouch this sounds awful) but this

OP posts:
Littlelillyy · 03/02/2023 19:40

Whoops I send the comment by accident, I didnt finish yet:

But this one really makes me nervous. I will think about a good message, probably try to keep it a bit casual as I don't want to love bomb him in case he doesn't like me, lol!

OP posts:
NHSmummy84 · 03/02/2023 19:44

Yeah I know what you mean. He obviously means a lot to you. You'll be fine. Just go for it. You'll always be wondering if you don't. I've got my fingers crossed for you! Come back and let me know what happens. I'm invested in this now. X

Mumof2under5 · 03/02/2023 19:47

You could always message when he’s on watsapp online… get some to and fro messaging going on before divulging that you’ve got feelings for someone…and that he might know that someone…that you want to tell them but don’t want to ruin the special friendship etc….

that way you’ve tested the water/laid the ground for the big reveal… and given him a chance to receive such info too without getting banboozled…

nc1013 · 03/02/2023 19:49

I'm rooting for you! Keep us updated!!!

Mumof2under5 · 03/02/2023 19:49

Also have you been flirty with him? Stick a couple of winking emoticons in there too….do u know if he’s single for sure or not?…. Might be sometih8ng to reconsider if he’s not single…

sunseaandme · 03/02/2023 19:53

Just go for it. I know it's easier said than done OP but life is too short not too and given by what you've said it sounds like you would regret not telling him how you feel. If it were me I would send a message and say in not so many words that you have feelings for him and feel a connection and you are hoping he feels the same , and that you wanted to be honest and tell him how you feel. Good luck!! Please update us!! How romantic ❤️

OrlandointheWilderness · 03/02/2023 20:00

Just text him!!

Choconut · 03/02/2023 20:01

You could put the ball in his court 'I was wondering, are we just friends?' That way if he does just wants to be friends then he can say yes and it's hopefully not too awkward to continue the friendship.

Littlelillyy · 03/02/2023 20:04

Thank you all for your genuine replies ❤️🍀. I am thinking about meeting him once more before I tell my feelings, maybe I could throw in a bit more flirt first to see how he reacts. He will be back here next week, he flew back to his home country so also want to give him the time with his fam over there... Oh gosh im already nervous but I will definitely update you guys! Once again thank you!

If anyone knows how I can formulate this in a good casual way let me know lol!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 03/02/2023 20:19

Yeah try flirting a bit, see what happens. If he’s still not noticing just message him. It sounds to me like he likes you too, sounds like it’s meant to be

Littlelillyy · 03/02/2023 22:25

Alright texted him: Hey you, I miss you! We should go out for a coffee when you're back

He texted me back saying:
Hey (my nickname) I'd love to when im back!! I am at the airport right now waiting for the plane to arrive

I am probably reading too much into this but we all know us women 😅. He didn't say I miss you too but that's alright, right? Gosh I dont even know how to flirt! Will probably do a learning course this week online! 😂

OP posts:
NovelFarmer · 03/02/2023 23:07

I think he likes you. He’s used the word love in a sentence about seeing you again with exclamation marks.

Toomuchinfor · 03/02/2023 23:18

This is all so exciting.

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/02/2023 23:26

Could you send him a text one day saying do you think if I've been single the time we first met that we would've had a relationship?

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