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Original poster

Chatting Ex’s on a Date

21 replies

ShonesM · 03/02/2023 16:26

I’m really interested to get some opinions on a date I had last weekend.
I had been seeing this guy for around a month and the topic of ex wife’s/husbands had inevitably been discussed.
Last weekend we were out having dinner when chat started about the women he had briefly dated since his ex wife . He proceeded to then scroll through Facebook to retrieve pictures of them to show me. Bit weird but okay I thought.
Then he showed me a pic of a woman in her late 30’s (he’s 60) who he knows through his daughter. He said she had pretty much made it clear at Christmas time that she wanted to sleep with him and the only reason he didn’t do it was because his daughter asked him not to! And added how much he was attracted to her!
i must admit it took me back a bit and I said later on that I wasn’t sure why he felt the need to show me her picture. She wasn’t an ex like the others. The weekend continued with no issues then on Monday I get a huge text about how he didn’t understand my reaction and thoughts about this and he needed time to process it!!
I told him not to bother processing anything I was done! Did I over react to what he did?

OP posts:
roses2 · 03/02/2023 16:27

Run a mile - that's not normal behaviour!

ZaphodDent · 03/02/2023 16:34

Very weird behaviour. You're lucky you've realised he's a moron so early on. Well done for telling him to jog on.

Tbird5 · 03/02/2023 16:35

roses2 · 03/02/2023 16:27

Run a mile - that's not normal behaviour!

This

CrapBucket · 03/02/2023 16:37

YUCK

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/02/2023 16:37

Bloody weirdo. Dump him and tell him why.

mewkins · 03/02/2023 16:41

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/02/2023 16:37

Bloody weirdo. Dump him and tell him why.

Yes this. He showed you her pic because he wanted to think that he's a real catch who is attractive to women 30 years younger than him. And he doesn't realise how sad that all sounds.

Rockschooldropout · 03/02/2023 16:46

He’s a narc- trying to put you on the back foot and make you feel insecure
“oh look this thirty year old woman wants to sleep with me “ hoping you’ll start doing the pick me dance to fuel his pathetic ego - Chuck him back under the rock he came from

Original poster
ShonesM · 03/02/2023 16:47

Thanks for the replies. It’s good to know I’m not alone thinking this was strange behaviour. He totally tried to gas light me too! I appreciate your thoughts

OP posts:
Outtasteamandluck · 03/02/2023 17:24

FGS what a knob!!

Is that the extent of his dating prowess ??

Chuck him back.

Watchkeys · 03/02/2023 17:36

If you want to leave a relationship because of the way he ties his shoelaces, you're not over reacting. You're leaving because you want to leave.

Who's to say what's 'too much' or 'too little' for you to react, except you? What rules are you meant to be following, except your feelings?

Opentooffers · 03/02/2023 17:40

Sleazebag, I doubt his interaction with this woman 30 years younger played out like this. But if it did, then he's picking on attractive women who have poor MH issues as they wouldn't want to go near him if they were sane.
He was testing you to see if you had enough courage and conviction to stick up for yourself. If you'd allowed yourself to be successfully gaslight by him and cowed by his 'needing time to think', you would of passed his test and been given the prize of being controlled for as long as you would allow it. There's a lot of messed up people unfortunately out there looking to date. The trick is to spot them and nip them in the bud.

crispsandnuts · 03/02/2023 17:40

Is he quite new to dating?
He sounds clueless to how to act. However he text topped it off, most definitely odd.

Watchkeys · 03/02/2023 17:43

crispsandnuts · 03/02/2023 17:40

Is he quite new to dating?
He sounds clueless to how to act. However he text topped it off, most definitely odd.

He'll probably be finding women who will try to have a relationship with him, and who will try to 'compete' with his exes. Horrible situation because his exes could have all kinds of fictional attributes, and potential dates might try to 'better' them.

He may have been doing this for some time, and already have a string of followers.

Zanatdy · 03/02/2023 18:15

Normal to mention ex’s if you’ve got kids and split. My bf (of 2 months) and I chatted ex’s on date 1 - what happened, why we split etc. He’s mentioned a few brief things and so have I since which is fine, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone going on FB and finding photos to show me. I think that’s crossing a line. My adult son said we shouldn’t have talked ex’s in the first few months but neither of us are jealous people and he’s nearly 50, me mid 40’s, of course we have had a life before now.

iklboo · 03/02/2023 18:49

Normal to mention ex’s if you’ve got kids and split.

The bloke was talking about women he'd seen after the split with his wife, culminating in a 'see her, I could have had her but my daughter asked me not to' way.

THAT is more out of order than showing a random pic of an ex.

2crossedout1 · 03/02/2023 18:51

Eurgh grim!

StarDolphins · 03/02/2023 18:53

I would’ve said exactly the same as you, what a strange guy. We’ll rid.

StarDolphins · 03/02/2023 18:54

Well*

RealeyesRealizeReallies · 03/02/2023 18:57

This is the honeymoon period...FHO!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/02/2023 10:58

He’s telling you that he’s into other women
stupid old man

TRIM x

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 04/02/2023 11:56

What a moron!

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