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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Upset that he said this

10 replies

Cv80 · 03/02/2023 07:00

I brought up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years that I feel like I'm not a priority to him, I feel like I'm just a convenience at times, and asked him how he really feels about me because he's not one to discuss emotions or feelings really. I don't want to be anyone's "princess" but would like to think I feel special to someone after all these years. To my shock he said, "I'm not sure how I feel". I said why is he wasting my time then. I feel used. My gut is right then, I guess. I asked him to leave (we don't live together) as I was upset. I'm early 40s and he's late 40s. He has many exes after short term relationships.

It's the end, isn't it, if he doesn't know if he loves me?

OP posts:

SheeSaid · 03/02/2023 07:23

Yes, sorry.

Zanatdy · 03/02/2023 07:24

Yes, he clearly doesn’t but didn’t want to say. It’s over unfortunately, move on as it won’t ever change

Emmamoo89 · 03/02/2023 07:24

Yes. So sorry this happened to you

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 03/02/2023 07:30

Yes, it is the end.

life's too short to waste any more if your time on a man who is this apathetic after 4 years! It's great you don't live together.

tine to prioritise your future, not this twat!!

GroggyLegs · 03/02/2023 07:36

4 years...
Yes, if he can't make you feel loved and secure after all that time, it's time to cut your losses and move on.

In a strange way, be grateful that he told you the truth instead of stringing you along to keep the peace.

I'm sorry OP.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 03/02/2023 07:46

I think your gut is to be trusted here OP

Cullenskink · 03/02/2023 08:31

Ahh I’m sorry lovely. Life is far too short not to feel cherished.
I met my DH in my forties, he was a fair bit older, and he is the kindest, most loyal, respectful and loving man I’ve ever known. Meeting him really highlighted how poor quality my prior relationships were. Once you are with the right one, you just know. Good luck.

Grandmasword · 03/02/2023 10:45

You get to a point in your life when you realise your worth, and this is such a point. If a man says this, and you continue to see him, your anxiety will be following you round because you will be constantly thinking about his words.

You are worth more than breadcrumbs

Annabananna1 · 03/02/2023 10:58

Set yourself free

CantAskAnyoneElse · 03/02/2023 11:03

What do you want from him?
What do you want him to do?
Is there something missing in you, that you now put on him to fix?

He hasn’t ’wasted’ your time or ’used’ you, if this is the end, then thing just ran it’s course, that’s all.
It happens in majority of relationships. Don’t make yourself to be somekind of victim.

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