Fiancé is acting really different around me.

[Hellfirehoney]

We’ve been together almost 4 years now and have a 10 month old. Recently it feels like he’s in a mood with me 24/7 and that isn’t like him at all. Barely says I love you before he leaves for work, usually just get a “bye” or “see you later”. Doesn’t kiss me anymore, I have to ask for a kiss before he’s hurried out the door. I can’t get any conversation out of him to the point that it starts to feel awkward when we’re in a room together.

I have tried to speak to him and ask what’s wrong but he just gets annoyed that I’m “going on at him” when all I want to know is why everything just seems different all of a sudden. I haven’t said it to him but I have this back of the mind thought that he might be involved with someone at work. We had a few issues in our first year together where I had found out he was speaking to another woman and we did part ways for a couple of months but we did get back together and no other incidents like that have happened again. Before anyone calls be stupid for getting back with him, it was early on on the relationship so we weren’t really that serious at the time.

Now I just feel like I’m stuck. I don’t want to go digging because that’s not the right thing to do. I’m about 90% certain it isn’t work stress as his job is pretty laid back and easy and he would usually tell me if work wasn’t great.

He sounds unhappy in the relationship and, I’m sorry to say, he probably has someone else in the background or is thinking about someone else.

If no improvement in the next couple of months I think you need to consider ending the relationship. Doesn’t sound good at all.

Yeah it sounds like he’s checked out of your relationship for some reason - if he won’t talk to you then you shouldn’t stay

Yes he could have someone else or he could be depressed? Maybe he feels life has changed since you had a child. Whatever the reason, he needs to talk to you about what's going on.

Sorry you're going through this - I agree with above posters.

Do you have anyone in real life to talk too?

Sounds like he’s checked out of the relationship. If you had issues in your first year, that was a sign that things likely wouldn’t survive the course.

The first year of parenthood is particularly demanding and, unimpressive as it is, some men really struggle with the reality of the baby’s needs coming a long way ahead of theirs. Men can also suffer from PND. Are you able to have a proper talk with him about what’s going on? Yes, he may have checked out and you shouldn’t cling on to a poor relationship but, since you’ve got a child now, you should explore whether it can be mended before giving up.

How long has this lasted?

Do you have to kiss and say loves you every single day?

Do you have friends and family for support in RL?

Prepare to do without him, he does sound like he’s checked out.

I know that some men struggle in the first year after baby is born. This doesn't sound like that at all. It sounds as though he has someone else on his mind I'm afraid. Has someone new started at work?

He's not interested in you, that's fact
There's a problem with your relationship
Possibly there is another woman as he has form for that
This is one I would halt any plans for a wedding

What position are you in? If he left would you be able to make do with benefits and your work wages?

I'd have a sit down and say you're unhappy in your relationship as he seems indifferent cold grumpy and unable to communicate either as a partner nor as a Co-parent which is not good enough- so is there anything wrong, or is this just how he intends to behave from now on?

I'd be suggesting he moves out and let's us (baby and I) have a happy household again (if it's not depression that he intends to get treatment from Gp for)

If his answer to that is that you're 'nagging' you know he's an unloving person and that he's trying to divert you by name calling you instead to cover for his bad attitude