Holiday with DH's family

[RainRainDoOne]

So... I need some perspective here.

We are going away for a week with DH's mum and sister over the summer.

It's a chalet type accommodation with 5 of us including DD who will be 3 by the time we go.

I'm lucky to have in-laws who love DD to bits. They genuinely do. But I always find SIL takes over with DD. I'll go to stop her from doing something and SIL will get to DD first. When she was a baby she would keep taking her off me, even when it was me she wanted or she was overtired.

Mostly I've let things go or politely said no numerous times until she gets the point.

DD is our first and most likely only child.

Already MIL has said oh Auntie's already asked DD to sleep in with her. I just find it irritating that she has mentioned it to DD like that's what's going to happen. SIL is younger than me by 10 years and if she hasn't got her way in the past has got all moody and snappy.

We are going to be sharing close quarters so I know there are going to be some things that irritate me and I'm going to have to suck most of it up. MIL and SIL are the type to expect us to spend the whole week together, so we are unlikely to get anytime to do anything the 3 of us. We have only taken DD away once before.

DH really wanted to go, so I felt couldn't say no when he was so excited.

I just think it's going to be too much. If we had separate accommodation it would be fine but being on top of each other is going to be hard.

For context they see DD regularly and she has days that spends just with them, so it's not as if they don't see her. They live locally and see her often.

Any tips guys?

Take a LOT of wine 😬🤣

You need to dictate what’s happening and not let others overrule you. If sil gets stroppy, let her. By letting her get her own way, you encouraging her behaviour.

What works for some won’t work for others. I would bite the hand off any member of my family that would help with childcare and give us a lie in. If this is the only holiday you can afford, you don’t sound comfortable with it, so I’d either decline or set boundaries subtly. My parents and my sibling and partner all went on holiday together when our child was 10m. I really appreciated some time to read a book, swim, etc. if it doesn’t work for you don’t do it, but, you might have a bit of fun and have some alone time with your partner, and your child has a blast with their family. It’s really up to you.

Be proactive. For example, make sure you initiate bedtime before anyone else can but say ‘Maybe when your are in bed (in your room, not SIL’s), Auntie will come and read you a story’.

And take wine and chocolate.

Okay so I'll make sure I'm stocked up with wine and chocolate. 🤣

@Krakenes oh definitely, DD loves them and they love her they have a lovely relationship with them. MIL helps out with DD and I appreciated it. Both MIL do things with DD that she doesn't really do with me. I wouldn't change it. I'll try to be flexible and say yes to some things but definitely keep some boundaries when it comes to the things I'd rather do with DD. The thing is my family aren't pushy whereas SIL especially can be. I get it though she's young, she's excited to have DD there but it can get a bit much at times.

@DifficultBloodyWoman I like this idea. A bit of compromise is probably good and will hopefully keep everyone happy.

I honestly would just take wine, suck up as much as you can and make sure you’re firm and just take over when your little one is tired and just wants you.

If you don’t get the chance to go away much with your little one it’s not nice when overbearing relatives push in and take over.

I wouldn’t do this again because they sound awful. There’s nothing more annoying than multiple days of pushy mil and sil.

Champion. Sil can share with dd. You get alone time with dh. Sil wants to manage lunch out. You can grab a glass of wine.. Play it all to your advantage op. Dd needs a nap.. Sil can supervise that surely?

Dh on side and worded up. If you don’t want dd going to bed with sil he needs to step in and say dd will sleep in her own bed, it’s better for everyone that way. Here, I’ll take her.

Just relax and don’t be uptight or try to control everything. It’s a holiday! Open the wine and let SIL take over the childcare haha

We are all different. I would be absolutely delighted to not have to share a room on holiday with my three year old and have enthusiastic family childcare on tap 😅 try and see this as a good thing that a lot of parents would chew their right arm off for.

Absolutely agree with this! I'd have been over the moon if someone had taken my kids overnight for a week at that age 😂 a holiday with a full week of peaceful sleep would have been bliss

Lol 🤣 thank you all.

Will definitely take all of your advice on board.

Has she ever slept with a 3 year old?