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Original poster

Why has it taken him so bloody long

15 replies

Confusedasthedayislong · 02/02/2023 21:01

So ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago and he collected his belongings 2 weeks later, so a week ago.
I'm getting on fine, no contact, but do have an inkling that he isn't 100% sure on actually wanting us to be over. He doesn't know I think this.
Then tonight he contacts me out of the blue, tells me it is definitely what he wants. Fine but I was doing ok before and every time he contacts me it just puts me back.
Why has it taken him three fucking weeks to decide, and why on earth has he gotten in touch with me again, for no real reason.

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 02/02/2023 21:10

Block him.

AndyWarholsPiehole · 02/02/2023 21:14

It's taken 3 weeks because he doesn't actually like or love you much. Never would I entertain being with someone that isn't sure about me. I'd be embarrassed for myself.

Dacadactyl · 02/02/2023 21:14

To mess with your mind.

Block him.

limoncelloo · 02/02/2023 21:25

Are you the same poster that posted about him having sex with you right before the breakup?

If so, please spin this around. YOU don't want to be with him. YOU weren't waiting for him to decide.

Please tell me you have ignored him. If not, from this moment ignore, ignore, ignore. Do not give him a second more of your time!

I know it is hard but every day it gets better.

He may be doing the "I don't want you back" thing to see if you'll beg and do the pick me dance, which would stroke his ego.

Best thing to do is to not give him any reaction, any words, or any way into your life. It's what people like this hate.

Original poster
Confusedasthedayislong · 02/02/2023 21:33

I'm not entertaining him whatsoever. I'm just mulling over why he would decide it was necessary to get in touch with me again and put me back a step. Arsehole.

Not me who posted about the sex, no. Very similar has happened however. Who knew there were so many wankers out there.

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 02/02/2023 21:47

Confusedasthedayislong · 02/02/2023 21:33

I'm not entertaining him whatsoever. I'm just mulling over why he would decide it was necessary to get in touch with me again and put me back a step. Arsehole.

Not me who posted about the sex, no. Very similar has happened however. Who knew there were so many wankers out there.

Have you blocked him?

bloodyeffinnora · 02/02/2023 22:04

The minute he said he wasnt sure about you, should have been when you blocked him, then he wouldnt have been able to set you back. why did you allow him to make any decision? You now make your decision, go No Contact and Block him .

CombatBarbie · 02/02/2023 22:28

It's an ego trip to make sure you don't move on..... He doesn't want you but doesn't wa t anyone else to either!!

Deathbyfluffy · 02/02/2023 22:29

Confusedasthedayislong · 02/02/2023 21:33

I'm not entertaining him whatsoever. I'm just mulling over why he would decide it was necessary to get in touch with me again and put me back a step. Arsehole.

Not me who posted about the sex, no. Very similar has happened however. Who knew there were so many wankers out there.

Stop him being able to by blocking him

Original poster
Confusedasthedayislong · 03/02/2023 09:48

I didn't feel like I needed to block - no intention to contact him but will do so now!

I'm doing a lot better than I expect he thinks I am, probably because I have worked on myself and am continuing to. It's good to do things for me 😁.

OP posts:
bloodyeffinnora · 03/02/2023 10:17

yes but not blocking him gave him the opportunity to contact you with his decision as he was still able to contact you.

oh yes he's definitely hoping you'll fall apart and beg him to reconsider his decision. good on you for blocking him now and moving on.

Original poster
Confusedasthedayislong · 03/02/2023 10:23

@bloodyeffinnora to be honest at the start I did want a reconciliation but the more I think about it the more I realise he has narcissistic traits and has never really had any empathy for me or the way I have felt when we had issues in the past. Running away and giving up when we hit a bumpy patch has confirmed this to me.

I do hope he can change and grow as a person for the next person in his life, but not for my benefit.

OP posts:
Mari9999 · 03/02/2023 10:34

As long as you are giving the slightest thought to what or how he thinks that you are doing he is still controlling you.

Tell yourself that he no longer wants you, and then move on with a life that does not involve thinking about him at all.
His calling you does not affect him emotionally , and he probably never occurs to him that it might have any emotional impact on you. For him it is likely just a time filler in his free time.

If you block him that is one further step in freeing yourself. You will never know if he tries to call you, and more importantly it does way with the temptation to answer him.

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 03/02/2023 11:02

''I'm getting on fine, no contact, but do have an inkling that he isn't 100% sure on actually wanting us to be over. He doesn't know I think this''

Maybe he did have an inkling and that's why he contacted you. Have you said anything to anyone and it could have got back to him?

Original poster
Confusedasthedayislong · 03/02/2023 11:08

@RosieLemonadeAndSugar nope, haven't said my thoughts on that topic to anyone.

At the end of the day, I know that I'm not the problem and that it's not my problem. At least I can sleep sound knowing I have given it my all up until now.

OP posts:
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