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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it me or him?

7 replies

FoxyBloxy · 02/02/2023 19:21

All he seems to do is moan and be negative. It's pretty regular but this is from the past week. I don't drive so he picks DS2 up from nursery. On Monday, I said I'll come with him because DS1 has been asking for some football cards and Asda is the only place they do them (the nursery is across the road) I said to save time he can go and get DS and I'll go in Asda, or vice versa. He shouted 'for fucks sake' and said 'get in the car then' Then on Wednesday I told him I might ask my friend if she could get a peppa pig ballon for DS who is 2 at the end of the month (she does balloons) he tutted, pulled a face and said ‘what's the point’ Then today I suggest giving DS1 a party for his 7th birthday in April. He's never had a party before and I've felt a bit bad but never really been able to afford one in the past. He's done things with friends but not a proper party. He tutted, pulled his face and said what's the point (again) I would be paying for the party which he knows and it can't be about him not being bothered to help because he plays football on Saturdays so wouldn't be there anyway (hoping I can find somewhere for a Saturday) maybe it's me being overbearing🤷🏻‍♀️ Just to add, it can't be about money because we can afford the above. I feel as if I can't say or suggest anything without him either moaning or putting a downer on it and it’s driving me mad. But then again it could be me?

OP posts:
AuroraForever · 02/02/2023 19:24

Not you at all. He’s being a dick. Have you asked him outright what his problem is?

FoxyBloxy · 02/02/2023 19:28

@AuroraForever I asked him earlier after him pulling his face about the party. I asked him what the issue is and he just shrugged his shoulders

OP posts:
Eastereggsboxedupready · 02/02/2023 19:30

See learning to drive as a step to your independent life op..
A one without him in it.

Watchkeys · 02/02/2023 20:22

FoxyBloxy · 02/02/2023 19:28

@AuroraForever I asked him earlier after him pulling his face about the party. I asked him what the issue is and he just shrugged his shoulders

Unless you want a partner who communicates like this with you, you need to leave him.

Surely this isn't how your ideal man would treat you? Why do you feel you should settle for this?

XmasElf10 · 02/02/2023 20:34

It’s him. Yuck! You can do better!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/02/2023 20:47

It’s not you, it’s him.

Why are you with such a man?. What are you getting out of this relationship now?. Is this all you think you deserve from a relationship, his contempt of you all here is palpable.

How can you be helped here into leaving him?.

Loulou377 · 02/02/2023 21:05

Playing devils advocate here but could he be depressed? My partner has phases of similar behaviour which is incredibly difficult for me to understand and not get offended by. I have come to realise that this behaviour is shown to me when he’s having a large dip in mood. He’s certainly not meaning to act this way and when I make him aware of it he does try to make changes. I was just wondering if your partner may be suffering in a similar way. Does he need help?

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