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Original poster

Help so humiliated!!

22 replies

Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 14:20

Hi
would really appreciate some advice on how to cope with this situation.
guy at work who is single started flirting with me , brushing against me, staring etc. etc all the usual stuff. He’s higher than me. I started to get nervous and school girlish around him (red in face and stammering words) but I think it was obvious I liked him as we locked eyes a few times. Now, he is avoiding me and blanking me - laughing joking with others but not me but still being polite but not flirty how he was.

i completely understand that he has probably backed off because it’s not good for these kinds of situations at work and/or he has found someone else but I’m just so humiliated that I’ve shown my cards and he has backed off!! So so embarrassing 😳 anyone any advice on how to deal?

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 02/02/2023 19:02

Match him. Go cold and stern. Keep it professional, you'll soon forget the awkwardness and move on.

Fuckstix · 02/02/2023 19:27

Just put on a cool, polite front and style it out.

I think it might help to mentally give him the benefit of the doubt here. Like you say, he could have liked the look of you, got a bit carried away with the flirting, but pulled it back knowing it was a bad move being senior. I know I would find this easier than trying to work out whether and why I'd been deliberately toyed with by a headfucker.

Obviously don't entertain it if he restarts.

growgrowinggrown · 02/02/2023 20:06

In what way did you show your cards?

Looking someone in the eye is pretty standard so easy enough to brush off.

Are you sure you're not just reading waaaaay to much into this?

Thisismyusernamefornow · 02/02/2023 20:09

Perhaps he felt the behaviour inappropriate and had backed off to be professional.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/02/2023 20:11

Pretend like it never happened. Honestly, this is a total non-event.

Eixample · 02/02/2023 20:12

You have plausible deniability for everything. You haven’t shown your cards at all. Possibly he realised that this kind of thing is no longer considered professional behaviour and reined himself in. Or perhaps someone else gave him a talking to.

Watchkeys · 02/02/2023 20:12

Don't understand why you're embarrassed. If you're into someone and they're not into you, that's pretty standard and has happened to everyone. If you flirted with him and he flirted with you, and then he suddenly stopped, then you stop too. Why would anybody judge you for this? Any more than they'd judge you for wanting a slice of cake and then changing your mind?

twistedcister · 02/02/2023 20:15

Do you think he might have thought he'd better back off as he was clearly embarrassing you? Or perhaps someone had a word with him about how inappropriate it was and that he was inna position of power?

purpledalmation · 02/02/2023 20:19

Think of him as a ridiculous twat who thought flirting with the younger staff would boost his ego, but when you reciprocated he chickened out. Just be professional from now on.

Christmaspyjamas · 02/02/2023 20:21

Well it sounds like you did a lot less than him so there's no humiliation.

Just avoid him as far as you can.

Original poster
Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 20:30

Thanks guys, you've really all made me feel better - I was feeling mortified earlier 😳And I know I didn't actually say anything to him to confirm my attraction or whatever, but I behaved like a teenager at school with a crush by going red, giggling, stammering my words etc. Basically I should be glad it's over in some ways because it was torturing to feel so awkward around him.

FWIW, I'm 39 years' old and he's around two to three years' older, so I should know better.

I guess I feel embarrassed because he is making a point of being over friendly and jokey with everyone except me now; although he is still being polite to me, but the flirting has definitely dropped.

OP posts:
Original poster
Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 20:32

Watchkeys · 02/02/2023 20:12

Don't understand why you're embarrassed. If you're into someone and they're not into you, that's pretty standard and has happened to everyone. If you flirted with him and he flirted with you, and then he suddenly stopped, then you stop too. Why would anybody judge you for this? Any more than they'd judge you for wanting a slice of cake and then changing your mind?

@Watchkeys I love this analogy ! Thank you 🤗

OP posts:
Original poster
Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 20:37

I think one of the other things that is doing my head in is that he is still pratting around with my other female colleague and I think (but can't be sure) that she may also be attracted, and she gets loud and shrill when she is joking with him when he comes in and it just looks like I have sour grapes as I'm saying nothing and hide behind my screen trying not to look green with envy. Oh the shame LOL

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 02/02/2023 20:40

Prick tease player, ignore his head fuckery its deliberate

BreviloquentBastard · 02/02/2023 20:40

Maybe someone else noticed the flirting and told him to rein it in? I wouldn't worry about it and certainly don't be embarrassed, it's ok to be a bit smitten and silly sometimes!

LakeTiticaca · 02/02/2023 21:00

Head up, shoulders back , chest puffed out March in with confidence, say good morning to everyone and get on with your work. He'll trip over his massive ego and fall flat on his face one fine day 😉

Original poster
Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 21:03

LakeTiticaca · 02/02/2023 21:00

Head up, shoulders back , chest puffed out March in with confidence, say good morning to everyone and get on with your work. He'll trip over his massive ego and fall flat on his face one fine day 😉

Thanks :-) I really hope he does. It wouldn't be bad if he wasn't continuing to pratt around with everyone else.

OP posts:
drunkornot · 02/02/2023 21:06

I hate men like this! I had almost the opposite situation where the male colleague like me more than I liked him and I backed away. He would always try and get my attention by flirting with female colleagues next to me and ignoring my existence. I found him pathetic as I didn’t even fancy him, but it must be shit if you do have a bit of a crush and he’s doing that

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/02/2023 21:06

Just forget about it, be polite but disinterested.

It’s honestly no big deal.

He sounds like a bit of a creep anyway.

Original poster
Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 21:07

Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 21:03

Thanks :-) I really hope he does. It wouldn't be bad if he wasn't continuing to pratt around with everyone else.

Show quote history

I just don't want to look bothered in the slightest (as it has made me feel a tw*t for thinking he liked me too when he doesn't) and I feel that by not joining in on the pratting around I'm showing sour grapes lol but I don't find it funny any more

OP posts:
Original poster
Frankbutchersfangs · 02/02/2023 21:10

drunkornot · 02/02/2023 21:06

I hate men like this! I had almost the opposite situation where the male colleague like me more than I liked him and I backed away. He would always try and get my attention by flirting with female colleagues next to me and ignoring my existence. I found him pathetic as I didn’t even fancy him, but it must be shit if you do have a bit of a crush and he’s doing that

@drunkornot exactly!! I don't want him to think of me as how you think of that guy you didn't like...pathetic :-(
If he hadn't had flirted with me I wouldn't have been fussed in the first place, but he got me thinking I had a chance lol

OP posts:
Hesagit · 04/02/2023 13:36

I'm in same situation, there was a bit of mutual flirting but he's dating now, and rubbing my face in it. He makes sure I hear all about his dates.Being an immature cunt, he's 44. I avoid any eye contact etc and can't stand the sight of him now. I even hate his voice and couldn't care less about him. But for all his smugness and bragging about his sex life, the fool still stares at me and I'm laughing I'm my head at the idiot. I pity his new girlfriend.

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