Background: I left DH a while back but was persuaded to go back because of his promises to change the behaviour I found unacceptable, mainly texting young, female work colleagues. I believe he has stopped this completely, although I’m no longer on the lookout for him being furtive with his phone.
Now, however, another old problem is causing tension between us. We were both workaholics, but I was retired on medical grounds (physical ill health) a few years ago, so I now have a part time job that I do from home and I can work largely to my own schedule. DH is several years younger than me and won’t reach retirement age for another decade. He’s still a workaholic because there’s no reason for him to change. This wouldn’t be a problem but for the fact that he’s worked mainly from home since Covid, takes over every room in the house bar the bedroom and expects me to fit in with his schedule.
When we both worked we had our own separate schedules and things were mainly fine. When I was medically retired he continued to work long hours outside the home which was also fine because I just got on with my life (admittedly less busy than before my health issues) at home and I joined various hobby clubs etc. Now DH is still working every hour of the day, including weekends, it’s beginning to annoy me because he expects me to be at his beck and call and seems to resent the fact that I want my own life rather than waiting until the brief period he’s free to go out and do something with me.
How do I get him to understand that I’m no more likely to leave the relationship if I have hobbies of my own which is his take on things. He also threatens to stop working so we lose the house which is particularly horrible for me to hear as it’s not only a scary threat, but it makes me feel sad that I’m no longer able to earn a relatively decent wage due to my disability.