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Original poster

Financial struggles

35 replies

Peaches8913 · 01/02/2023 12:13

I know it's hard to give advice on a situation like this, I just need to get it off my chest feel like I'm going to fall apart otherwise. Partner and I been together for 10+ years, we have 2 children together, since the living crisis we are really struggling. He lost his job roughly 1 year ago, and has been applying regularly. I work 35 hours per week and we don't claim anything he doesn't want to sign on. I'm in the process of having another job interview next week for evening hours which would be an extra 25 hours apprx, I can't help but resent him I won't have any time for my children while he gets to sit on his arse and not appreciate being with them. If I don't do this we can't afford to live, I just want to cry most times he doesn't understand the pressure I'm under trying to support my family and maintain a home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peaches8913 · 01/02/2023 14:31

@caringcarer yeah he is looking but no success yet

OP posts:
Addicted2Kale · 01/02/2023 14:41

Was he fired or made redundant? And is he only looking for jobs in that field?

He needs to apply for supermarket jobs. Discounts and access to cheap food, over time, small contracts perhaps BUT you can do overtime in ANY store, not just your base store. And as much as this annoys me as a non claiment...works well alongside UC, provided you stick to the max hoursworked guidelines. Got nothing to lose. He needs to be a man and just do it.

MrsMoastyToasty · 01/02/2023 15:09

Peaches8913 · 01/02/2023 13:59

@80s his mom wouldn't take him in because of this, I actually did attempt to split but he really has no where else to go but I can't be punished for his laziness. I struggle to bring all this stuff up again because he gets emotional then I'm the bad guy that's demanding things that hes already working on

If you did split then it's not up to you to find him somewhere to live. He wouldn't be your responsibility. He will have burned his bridges. He needs to "man up" and provide for the household.

lamaze1 · 01/02/2023 16:05

Honestly OP you deserve better. If he has made any genuine attempt to find a job I get it is demoralising. I've been there. There is nothing to stop him taking any job or signing on to help relieve the pressure on you. His actions are frankly selfish and I have little sympathy for his depression. I say this as someone who has suffered depression and appreciate how hard o sound, but who is looking out for you? He certainly isn't. I really hope things improve for you.

Bananalanacake · 01/02/2023 19:22

Is he trying supermarkets and pubs, depends if there's any near you though.

AnneElliott · 01/02/2023 20:22

Why didn't he apply for the same evening job op? Definitely unreasonable of him to put all this pressure on you.

CookieDoughKid · 05/08/2023 21:14

quite frankly he needs to grow a back bone. He could be advertising himself as a handy man, gardener, labourer, car washer, cleaner, a gazillion low skilled jobs. There are ways to get paid whilst job hunting. He needs his brain cells knocked into gear and he needs to read this post. Stop wining like a loser and start acting like a winner.

Prelapsarianhag · 06/08/2023 14:04

Don't take a second job, he will just sit on his arse for ever.

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 06/08/2023 23:15

If you get rid of him you can likely apply for UC to top up your wages so you can see your children instead of working every hour of the day and night. I know who I would prioritise (my kids). Necessity is the mother of invention, you might find he miraculously recovers once he has to fend for himself.

Fishpieandchips · 06/08/2023 23:44

I've been out of work and it is depressing but I continued to apply for jobs and went for interviews even if wasn't sure about the role.
He's taking the proverbial out of you, how can he possibly think it's ok for you to work 60 hours and him none?

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