If you had anxiety, what ridiculous things did you panic about? Please make me feel less alone :(

[Turkeysandwichs]

I can be high functioning but in patches I will crumble with anxiety. I’m currently worrying that the neighbour is going to circulate a piece of paper round the area saying my home is messy and to stay away from me. I know it’s insane but I have thought of this non stop since Sunday. It’s exhausting.

Getting stuck in my front door. I wanted to go out but had things to do indoors.
Stuck outside my frontdoor because I wanted to go to sainsburys but also lidls.
Wanting to knit a sock but also wanting to knit a blanket.
Having a panic attack in sainsbury's book aisle.
Now if I have a conflict in my head I ask my dc to make the choice otherwise I get frustrated.
It doesn't happen often but clearly when I'm unconsciously anxious is when it does.

I suffered from anxiety last year, I couldn't meet any friend for longer than an hour and I couldn't go to any dinner party or social event at all- I would panic and want to leave immediately. I had counselling and it really helped. But I suffered a bereavement and it's returned now it's literally about anything.

3 years of convincing myself I had breast (still paying off the debt to see a private consultant)

Last 2 years that I have bowel cancer (can’t look down the toilet in case I see blood)

fear when I go out with friends that I’m not amusing enough or enthusiastic enough.

terrified I come across as thick when talking to people at work.

terror at the thought of adult dd not being happy and content 24/7.

@HalloVegBot has summed up "jumping on the bus" perfectly I'm going to show my DH - i don't/cant drive due to severe panic attacks behind the wheel so I rely on public transport - but mainly walk everywhere as this ontop of 3 dc to navigate is too much for my brain to cope with - noone seems to get it:
What if the children fall onto the road as the bus pulls up / what if there's another buggy onboard and we can't go on/ then we'll be late/ we won't get into another dentist / the children will have bad teeth for the rest of their life / the children will end up with sepsis from impacted teeth/ back to the bus - how do I fold the pram whilst making sure the kids don't annoy the public / wander off whilst the bus is moving / what if I upset someone taking up the luggage bay and so on....

I would absolutely love to try a subway sandwich - I've stepped inside once looked at the complicated ordering system, the queue building behind me and decided I didn't need lunch.

@HalloVegBot are you my brain 🧠 I hate being stuck in my head.

I can usually now after many years of counselling / therapy / coping strategies get the anxiety gremlin to simmer down, my friends were amazed I was 'OK' during COVID but have since gone to 💩 again overthinking and overanalysing. I need to get out my head again, petrified I spiral. Recent example was the car park I use for work changed from an attendant taking money to ANPR and pay on the app / pay at exit. Tied myself in absolute knots 🪢

I remember having sleepless nights in the past, tossing and turning at the idea I might never find anyone to marry me. I got so worked up about it I looked into becoming a nun. This is when I was FIFTEEN.

When I had post natal anxiety I would stay up all night googling things like "how do I know if my child is a dwarf?" because my mum said her arms were a bit short (all babies have short arms). Actually my whole google search history from that time is a mess. I read so many scientific papers on various illnesses, none of which I understood at all.

I started panicking that I wasn't panicking as much as normal. I got so used to the churning feeling in my stomach being constant, that when I went on holiday and relaxed I freaked out that there must be something to panic about that I was forgetting

@Frith2013 A rat will swim up through the toilet while I am sitting on it

I've had that fear all my life! It comes from a pest control man during childhood I think

Infestations, I hear a creak in loft and I'm convinced it's infested with rats, a cat jumped through my window and I was convinced my house was infested with fleas to the point I sprayed indorex all round, won't buy second hand books ect due to irrational fear of bedbugs, the list is endless and exhausting.

I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. It has made me tearful. People like me!
Thanks so much to all of you for your honesty about your anxieties and intrusive thoughts. It has made me realise a lot. I've found the book someone mentioned that has helped with intrusive thoughts as I am hoping it might help me.
And to whoever said its exhausting....it really is.
To the person obsessed with her son's swimming kit..this is me with my son's school uniform. I'm so preoccupied by it and if it is ready and ironed.

I wonder why I'm like this. My sister is the same I think. We've both been brought up to be wary and scared of everything and to dread things and be scared.
I'm not going to go on and on but this has opened my eyes but bizarrely, marde me feel less alone.
Thanks again everyone and sorry you are all going through the same 💐

Wow, this thread is really relatable. It's so debilitating isn't it.

For years I was convinced that my house was going to fall down around me (absolutely no reason it would). I'd spend hours looking for cracks in the walls and checking for other signs of structural problems. This one was so bad, I'd wake up feeling absolutely sick with worry. I remember being at a music gig once and getting tearful, thinking that even while I was supposed to be out having fun I was really just worried sick about the house. It occupied my thoughts constantly for such a long time.

I've also had similar "episodes" regarding bed bugs / fleas, chemicals I might have been exposed to, driving offences I might have committed and not been aware of, all sorts really. I'd spend the majority of the day on the internet trying to reassure myself, even when I was supposed to be working. I'd then get anxious about losing my job! I became an expert in structural engineering and pest control!

Things came to a head when I convinced myself that I'd given my (neurotypical) babies autism because I once dropped a mercury thermometer in the kitchen. I was so unwell over it and wrote a long rambling letter to the GP.

I was then put on sertraline and finally I have a life that I enjoy. I had no idea how unwell I was until I got better.

Oh yes the internet search history! I habitually browse in private/incognito mode now, as I used to see past worries pop up and I'd get obsessed with them all over again! And I didn't want anyone to see what I'd been searching as they'd know I was absolutely off my rocker.

When I was suffering with anxiety I have bought a fire extinguisher and two baseball bats 'for protection'.

@cawca

I too have a baseball bat I called Lucille.

I also have a fire extinguisher,large led lantern lights,a million torches, a cupboard full of power banks for phones and way too many outside lights thanks to anxiety 😟

This thread is so my life it's unreal but also relieveing that I'm not going around the twist

This month seems to have been particularly hard with the anxiety which in turn causes the pins and needles and the fight or flight mode and the constant rabbit in the headlights on the inside but trying to be calm and professional on the outside and it's been absolutely exhausting

I've literally been so tired I've fallen asleep every night on the sofa by 8pm it's so dreadful

The last week has felt better and the fog has lifted again but not sure for how long

I've got anxiety and worry about anything and everything.

If I hear a creaking noise in the house I'll be sure it's something structural that's broken. If I see a crack in the wall - that's probably been there for years but I've forgotten about it - I'll convince myself I've got subsidence and will be looking around the house for more. I was cutting back a hedge and found a birds nest. I stopped but worried that the eggs would be abandoned, that I'd be reported (it was outside the months you shouldn't cut hedges) and more. I spent a couple of weeks feeling terrible about that. I worry that the boiler will fail. That weather is leaking under the shower. That one day the plumbing under the bath will collapse. Whenever a bulb goes I think it's a sign of the wiring breaking down. Etc etc etc

I also get panicky feelings and don't even know what it is my body is worried about. It's exhausting and debilitating. Today I've been looking at cars as mine is off the road and they can't get the parts. I've worried about the cost of a new car and all the things that could go wrong with it and if I should try and get my new car back without repairs and what people are thinking of me and how I've wasted the day and lots and lots about it. I ended up having an anxiety attack by early afternoon... And worried what people would think of me for that. I couldn't work out what to eat at lunch because I was worrying about what I could afford or what I would like or what little would think. My partner has to pick for me.

Feel a bit pathetic. I have to mask all this at work and hide that I'm constantly terrified.

Oh so many!!! I'll list a few...

Parking

Going to a supermarket I don't know the layout of and people will see me going back the way I've been trying to find something and wonder what the hell I am doing!! (I still drive to the shop near where I grew up as I know it inside out)

Ordering from somewhere like subway where they ask you questions about each step - what if I don't understand or order something weird?

Going viral.. so looking stupid in public and someone filming it and it ending up all over Facebook/tik tok

That I'm making a weird face while talking to people - are my eyes twitching? Is my mouth doing something weird? Which then means I blush and can't focus on what they are saying

That something is going to happen to me in my sleep and my son will be left alone in his cot and no one will know

I have to check the street is empty before I put the wheelie bin out incase I do it weird

When I'm in a shop I'm convinced they are going to think I'm stealing and are watching me closely when I leave waiting for the beeping to start (and I'm always so relieved when it doesn't beep even though I've obviously not stolen anything)

Oh I could go on and on! Life is exhausting!!

.

Not me my dd14. Sink holes, chest going up and down, has she eaten enough to stay alive, few weeks ago had a dream someone got murdered. Then panicked maybe she was the murderer, then spent 3 days in tears thinking she was going to murder me. It’s an hourly battle some days.

I had quite bad issues with cleanliness and orderliness. Cup handles facing the wrong way, my house is not clean enough. The catalyst was work I'd taken a new role, I felt I couldn't manage, and I felt judged and unsupported.
Eventually, I took the decision to leave the company and rest my mind, I took 2 yrs out to care for myself.