Hi everyone here is the back story
I'm 27 with a 13 month old baby
My partner is 38 with 2 children 10 year old and our 13 month old.
He has known his ex partner 20 years and they had their child at the end of their relationship so to speak. Obviously I've only been around 2.5 years and before I had my child everything was fine I had no jealousy I had no worries I had no insecurities and I had no paranoia. 13 months later it's all I see.
Their child started training so we all used to go in support until It got too cold and dark for my child. Then at weekends when games were on we would all go to them. Anyway something happened so I stopped going full stop and so did the eldest mum etc.
I now for some reason cannot stand the thought of my partner and his ex spending any time together. Like I don't ask if she goes to the games I don't cause I'd rather not know. I don't ask if she goes to training anymore cause I'd rather not know although from what's said she don't. I get cringed out about them
Sitting next to each other in a car etc it's all childish and it's really not doing my mental health any good. They went to the game this weekend I didn't go and my partner got sent off for being annoying to the ref and I had this sense of anxiety knowing he'd of been stood with her for the duration that was left not to mention the fact they'd of had to walk out of there and in there together anyway with their child.
I think this began in the summer when it was their child's birthday they went off together for the day out and left me out and I'm not even joking I was crying every day for 2/3 weeks about it. Was in therapy at the time and spent 2 weeks worth of sessions just focused on that.
She says she hates him for what he did to her says she's nothing to worry about and says that we should stick together and I know in reality they both are there for their child so why can't I just see it like that. It's not like they can be getting it on in the football field with everyone around it's not like they would confuse their child. His life has moved on from what they used to be like and hers hasn't as much but they've both told me they don't want each other I just can't shake this feeling.
I don't want to be the bitter girlfriend as we now have a blended family but sometimes I feel like the spare part and don't know how to handle it. I've invited myself this weekend and I will go.
It needs to be about the children and as the ex has said before she can tell I sometimes can't focus on the kids and more the three
Of us adults.
I love the fact they can co parent it's so healthy and their child will always remember having both mum and dad there and that's an amazing thing and it's also amazing for both children to see the three of us getting on and giving them a good life experience.
I believe in parent and child 1-1 time but I do make the effort and want to go if their mum
Goes too because it's what my partner created when he got with me and had another child.