Did you end up with your FWB?

[3kidswouldfinishanyoneoff]

I'm crazy about mine so just interested in others success stories 😊

I don’t understand FWB, mine just ended, another example where I had feelings and he didn’t. If you are someone’s friend you obviously like them, and then if you’re attracted to them there are sparks too. What stops people from there? In my case suspect the age gap was his issue.

Nope

I had feelings and was convinced he did too

he didn’t

You can like someone enough to hang out with and shag but not enough to want a relationship with them. That’s how it was for both FWBs I had. One lasted ten years! Suited us both very well when we were both single at the same time but I’d never have entertained anything more serious, he was fun and good in bed but had some traits I didn’t like

Yes.

Married with two children.

No. That was kind of the point though…..

The sex was great and he was heaps of fun but he wasn’t the guy for me for other reasons.

Yes. But we were friends first and foremost. Married 25 years

No. He was a FWB cos he didn’t have enough respect for me to get into a relationship with me. In hindsight I was young and really keen on him and absolutely shouldn’t have put up with being used like that.
I think you need to reassess the arrangement once feelings are involved. Never again!

@TedMullins thanks, that is simple and actually helps a lot, @StClare101 what were the reasons?

Nope

I think your question throws up a really interesting point…

I think FWB describes a situation that evolves ( almost unconsciously) rather than an actual conscious option.

it’s more like a a term to describe a point in a relationship. Sometimes it fizzled out, sometimes it grows into something more…

Yes we've been married for 5 years now (together for 8) and have two kids.
We both didn't want a relationship at the time and were fwb for 3 years before getting together in a exclusive relationship. We were very happy just being fwb as we were both so young and at different stages of our lives (I'd just started uni and he lived back in my home town) we were great friends but no romantic feelings involved so we would see each other whenever I was back home but didn't want to be exclusive. One day realised we had feelings as we felt jelousy and luckily we both felt the same and it was good timing.

Also - I think that while a FWB situation is badged like that to spare the blushes of both partners, there’s usually one more keen than the other and hoping it’ll turn into something.

Thats not a criticism of either party btw!

I also think there’s something quite depressing about being with someone you doesn’t think you’re THAT amazing! It’s a bit of a turn off for me. And not much fun when the tables are turned either.

OP - your situation sounds more like a naturally evolving relationship tbh! But then there are different FWB scenarios- some are healthier than others

No, great in bed but totally unreliable in any other aspect.

No, we were never meant to be an item, our lives are just too different. He was the first person I ever slept with, after we'd been friends not about 2 years; we are still friends 2 decades later and care about one another a lot (and DH got to know him and is also very fond of him) but he lives 100 miles away so we only see each other once or twice a year.

No I’ve had a couple when younger but it never turned into anything more

No. But one of my friends did - happily married 12 years with two kids.

Yes. But he was never really a FWB - we were fooling ourselves! Think he was always my boyfriend and we were both just a bit scared at first.

Yes... both of us ended up catching feelings.

A warning. I met mine 20 years ago. I fell for him and he was clearly using me. It completely messed with my head - the more I had sex with him the more infatuated I became. I’d manipulate any little compliment in my head to ‘he must like me too’. He met someone else. I was absolutely and completely devastated. Then so did I. His relationship failed so he got back in touch with me. Stupidly I kept to the communication. Then he had other failed relationships. Then I had children, so did he. Then our relationships went through the usual ups and downs with children - and we’ve met sporadically for sex. I hate myself for not letting it go, for cheating, I feel wretched. I’m determined not to meet him again. He has a horrible way of dangling the carrot - and I think part of me is still trying to look for the approval that I never got. He tries to push my boundaries, and he seems to have power and control over me. It’s not a great place to be, and I should have stopped communication with him when I felt myself feeling things beyond the FWB scenario.