I've just had DS (9) ring me from his dads in tears because dad was shouting at him. Asking me to collect him and DD (6).
This is the first time they've done this.
ExP was abusive (emotional, verbal, physically intimidating but not actually violent) to me when we were a couple, and my DD from a previous relationship.
SS and solicitors etc were involved 7 years ago when we split but nothing ever came of anything, and he has had them 2 nights a week ever since then. He did seem to have improved and we muddled along co-parenting as well as possible.
My eldest DD has PTSD from his shouting and I reckon I have too.
When collecting them tonight I got upset briefly and said "you are scary when you shout" now he is saying they aren't scared of him, they have a nice time usually, DS was just being naughty (not tidying his mess up when asked).
I don't know what to do going forward. I need to protect them. But he is so manipulative he will say (to whoever inevitably gets involved) that I planted these ideas in their heads (he just rang to see if they're ok and refuses to believe he scared them, saying I'm putting mad ideas in their heads, what is my agenda etc, so I ended the call).
I don't know what to do next. DS says he still wants to go to Daddy's.