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Original poster

Baby and relationship

7 replies

ttc2603 · 31/01/2023 18:07

Since having my baby my relationship is just absolutely shit. I can't stand him I hate him and we just argue, I'm basically staying just cuz of the baby but idk how much longer I can cope with him! Anyone else had any problems after they had a baby? Is it normal ?

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 31/01/2023 20:37

It's hard with a new baby. I had postpartum depression after my first, and that caused real problems in my relationship. Saying that you hate him and can't stand him without specific reasons might indicate that you could be struggling with the same issue.

Original poster
ttc2603 · 31/01/2023 22:09

MissConductUS · 31/01/2023 20:37

It's hard with a new baby. I had postpartum depression after my first, and that caused real problems in my relationship. Saying that you hate him and can't stand him without specific reasons might indicate that you could be struggling with the same issue.

What can be the signs of postpartum depression? I don't know if I have any of the signs.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 31/01/2023 22:25

There are many ways PPD can show up, but anger and irritability are very common.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

Opentooffers · 31/01/2023 22:25

Why do you hate him more now than prior? Could it be that instead of being as in love with your baby as you are, he's jealous of your attention being elsewhere than on him? That's an issue that turns up. It's like you can become one with your baby, so rejection of baby, or not doing enough for it, is in effect rejecting you, so you end up feeling like it's you and baby against him - and you get all the love you need from baby, so don't need or want him.

Original poster
ttc2603 · 31/01/2023 22:30

MissConductUS · 31/01/2023 22:25

There are many ways PPD can show up, but anger and irritability are very common.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

Thankyou

OP posts:
Original poster
ttc2603 · 31/01/2023 22:33

Opentooffers · 31/01/2023 22:25

Why do you hate him more now than prior? Could it be that instead of being as in love with your baby as you are, he's jealous of your attention being elsewhere than on him? That's an issue that turns up. It's like you can become one with your baby, so rejection of baby, or not doing enough for it, is in effect rejecting you, so you end up feeling like it's you and baby against him - and you get all the love you need from baby, so don't need or want him.

That makes sense. I think that could be it. He don't really help out financially sometimes he feeds baby and changes her but hardly ever so I think maybe I've grew some resentment towards him as I just think his lazy. We both made the baby not just me so I think why can't he do something to help towards it. He also don't like when I make decisions about the baby I think he's a bit of a control freak and don't like things not going his way so we just end up arguing. I'm completely happy and fine and love being a mom when he isn't around but I honestly hate it so much when he's here.

OP posts:
Original poster
ttc2603 · 31/01/2023 22:37

Opentooffers · 31/01/2023 22:25

Why do you hate him more now than prior? Could it be that instead of being as in love with your baby as you are, he's jealous of your attention being elsewhere than on him? That's an issue that turns up. It's like you can become one with your baby, so rejection of baby, or not doing enough for it, is in effect rejecting you, so you end up feeling like it's you and baby against him - and you get all the love you need from baby, so don't need or want him.

I think he is jealous and is taking it out on me also because I've told him I'm not arguing the baby's my first priority and she always will be and I don't think he likes it. He's tried fixing it and sorting stuff but I really don't know what to do because he just starts for no reason.

OP posts:
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