Page 2 | Bad boys

strof · 2023-01-31T16:27:23+00:00

Would any of my learned female members care to explain this concept. I will explain I had a date with a woman I met on tinder we both agreed it went very well. We were together 7 hrs drinking chatting laughing and at her discretion a passionate snog session at the end of the night. All good next day she sent me a message saying she had a fantastic time. I'm a great bloke she thought I was a good looking lad.but chemistry wasn't right. Not a problem no hard feelings we had only just met but I had been chatting a lot on line and we were at ease . She messaged me a week later saying she knows I'm a good catch but she prefers bad boys . I know my ex dated a bad boy who dealt in drugs beat her up and even held her hostage .ex said to me once that sometimes women preferred bad boys . Please explain this bad boy concept. This boy is confused 😕

Original poster

strof · 31/01/2023 19:00

LynneBenfield · 31/01/2023 18:57

What are “quiche olives”?

Sorry quiche and olives

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CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 31/01/2023 19:03

Some psyches experience less cognitive dissonance when they're treated badly, or with someone who can treat others badly.
They're usually experiencing completely unnecessary aggravation drama of one kind or another in their life.
I think she's done you a favour though I get the impression you're still keen on her.

Original poster

strof · 31/01/2023 19:10

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 31/01/2023 19:03

Some psyches experience less cognitive dissonance when they're treated badly, or with someone who can treat others badly.
They're usually experiencing completely unnecessary aggravation drama of one kind or another in their life.
I think she's done you a favour though I get the impression you're still keen on her.

Well I enjoy the banter with her.but I certainly wouldn't commit to a full relationship with her

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TicketBoo23 · 31/01/2023 20:45

To be honest there have got to be better quality women out there than ones who decline further dates and say "I prefer bad boys'.

Quality women don't want them. They want a stable, supportive, reasonable guy who's preferably got decent resources to build a life and family with.

TicketBoo23 · 31/01/2023 20:48

If she continues in that vein she'll end up a single Mum or childless single woman who's washed up and wondering what went wrong and why she can't meet a decent man.

blippyissilly · 31/01/2023 22:33

I used to work with a woman mid twenties who was seeing a guy who would break into people's houses and steal their cars off the drive

She seemed to be really impressed by him. Was always telling us about how much he would sell the cars for and my close call he'd had

Luckily he got caught and went to prison

Dery · 31/01/2023 23:57

“To be honest there have got to be better quality women out there than ones who decline further dates and say "I prefer bad boys'.

Quality women don't want them. They want a stable, supportive, reasonable guy who's preferably got decent resources to build a life and family with.”

This - although I would say that functional women don’t want bad boys. Just as functional men don’t want to date bitches but some men love them. People who want to date bad boys and bitches really just want endless drama in their lives. It’s an unhealthy way to live and not something to emulate!

barmycatmum · 01/02/2023 04:17

Damage dances with damage, and some people who are drawn to “bad” types need therapy , and/ or it’s mirror neurons at work: until we heal and learn better, we’ll be intensely drawn to that which echoes what we are familiar with from childhood. Even worse, we’re intensely drawn to that which was broken and our subconscious wants to “fix” from our childhood.

and if one is healed, if being a “nice guy” isn’t coming from a genuine place, one can sense that and it is a turn off (I am not necessarily saying this is you. But in case it is:)
a “nice guy” is hiding a load of angry shit and being “nice” so he can get something. I can practically SMELL those ones, and the rage they have when turned down (“friend zoned” in their language - which is in itself a problematic concept) is unspeakably foul.

if you are a genuine, good, openly flawed and working on yourself man, and she said this stupid “bad boy” thing (hate that, btw, it’s gross), she needs therapy, as she is basically looking for damage that mirrors hers.

it’s not true that women wish to be treated badly. And I truly hope men stop passing around this myth. It’s horrible :(

keep On being a good man, please, and you’ll find a good woman.

Original poster

strof · 01/02/2023 04:58

barmycatmum · 01/02/2023 04:17

Damage dances with damage, and some people who are drawn to “bad” types need therapy , and/ or it’s mirror neurons at work: until we heal and learn better, we’ll be intensely drawn to that which echoes what we are familiar with from childhood. Even worse, we’re intensely drawn to that which was broken and our subconscious wants to “fix” from our childhood.

and if one is healed, if being a “nice guy” isn’t coming from a genuine place, one can sense that and it is a turn off (I am not necessarily saying this is you. But in case it is:)
a “nice guy” is hiding a load of angry shit and being “nice” so he can get something. I can practically SMELL those ones, and the rage they have when turned down (“friend zoned” in their language - which is in itself a problematic concept) is unspeakably foul.

if you are a genuine, good, openly flawed and working on yourself man, and she said this stupid “bad boy” thing (hate that, btw, it’s gross), she needs therapy, as she is basically looking for damage that mirrors hers.

it’s not true that women wish to be treated badly. And I truly hope men stop passing around this myth. It’s horrible :(

keep On being a good man, please, and you’ll find a good woman.

Her words "I'm crackers you did absolutely nothing wrong.Its me ".
I think she is attracted like a moth to the flame.itscertainly an eye opener on line dating

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gannett · 01/02/2023 07:57

I sort of get the "bad boy" thing but it's a very immature way to approach relationships. When I was younger I was attracted to a certain arrogance/cockiness/DGAF attitude in men. There was also a bit of a power play element to it all as well because I never thought of them as relationship material, I was well aware of how they treated women, but I liked the idea that they'd met their match in me. But in my mind all they were good for was casual sex or at best a meaningless fling.

People who actively seek relationships with bad boys/bad girls are addicted to drama or just stupid, but it is still very common. None of the above makes for a remotely healthy relationship. I guess a lot of people just don't grow out of it, or aren't able to separate a bit of meaningless fun from an actual relationship.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 01/02/2023 08:12

Well I think the whole bad boy concept is juvenile, pathetic, and dangerous. I'd run a mile from someone like that.

Elsewhere on here is a thread by a 22 year old single mum who's in an abusive relationship with a guy and the father of the baby is in and out of prison like a boomerang. Example of being with a bad boy.

And calling themselves boys? Just grow up.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 01/02/2023 08:13

strof · 01/02/2023 04:58

Her words "I'm crackers you did absolutely nothing wrong.Its me ".
I think she is attracted like a moth to the flame.itscertainly an eye opener on line dating

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You probably had a lucky escape!

MaxTalk · 01/02/2023 08:29

Bad boys, watcha goin' to do? I thought this thread would be about a couple of cops fighting crime with a black Porsche. Disappointed.

SIUUU · 01/02/2023 09:42

MaxTalk · 01/02/2023 08:29

Bad boys, watcha goin' to do? I thought this thread would be about a couple of cops fighting crime with a black Porsche. Disappointed.

Interestingly, or not, there are rumours of a fourth film coming out!

Bluesandtwos7 · 01/02/2023 11:05

She’s probably not into bad boys , just trying to get in your head to make you feel less masculine because you weren’t interested in her I reckon

whattodo1975 · 01/02/2023 11:07

Women find bad boys attractive as they know life will never be boring with them.

Its the kind of thing you grow out of though when you want an actual proper long term relationship.

Bluesandtwos7 · 01/02/2023 11:10

I can’t stand bad boys 🤮

purpledalmation · 01/02/2023 12:15

You are well rid of this woman. She is a drama seeker. Bad boys are really shit as partners, and women who seek them out are not the norm. Be grateful she let you off the hook. If the only women you meet at looking for bad boys, redefine your searches.

Marineboy67 · 01/02/2023 18:33

Bad Boys....let her carry on dude, women that are attracted to these types rarely find lasting happiness. A history of being bullied, abused, gaslighted by these so called confident hyper macho narcissistic men and still they go back for more. Oh the fanny flutters...
Thankfully not all women want that bullshit and don't believe all that 'Nice guys finish last' shite either. They're are plenty of nice people out there.

Original poster

strof · 01/02/2023 18:36

Marineboy67 · 01/02/2023 18:33

Bad Boys....let her carry on dude, women that are attracted to these types rarely find lasting happiness. A history of being bullied, abused, gaslighted by these so called confident hyper macho narcissistic men and still they go back for more. Oh the fanny flutters...
Thankfully not all women want that bullshit and don't believe all that 'Nice guys finish last' shite either. They're are plenty of nice people out there.

I agree

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Viviennemary · 01/02/2023 18:41

Bad boys might hold a certain attraction for some young teenagers. She sounds a bit silly. You had a lucky escape.

Original poster

strof · 01/02/2023 18:48

Viviennemary · 01/02/2023 18:41

Bad boys might hold a certain attraction for some young teenagers. She sounds a bit silly. You had a lucky escape.

Yes i am sure there is someone compatible out there .whilst I would never consider myself a bad boy .I'm no shrinking violet either.
Just a regular bloke fond of a few japes but loyal and respectful to my female partner

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