Positive stories of finding love after divorce please!

[Bs93]

Hi,

I’m 29 and going through a separation at the minute… I keep doubting myself and thinking I should stay or I’ll be alone and nobody will ever love me! That’s not my main focus but I would like to have a family again as I’m still young. I have a 19 month old. I don’t want to get straight into a relationship but would love to hear some positive stories as all I seem to see is negative ones x

Hello OP!
I separated from my husband last summer after a really difficult few years (it was over long before then, he just hadn’t told me). I’m 35. It’s honestly so much better to be alone and single than in a relationship where you feel lonely/unhappy. You are so young, please get out now and don’t feel rushed or worried about finding another relationship, focus on finding stability first!
However, I can also tell you that I decided to try online dating at a friends recommendation and met an absolutely lovely man who I’ve now been seeing for 5 months. I think it’s important to give yourself some time/not feel pressured though!

Hi op! I left my husband when I was 28, been with him 10 years and literally had no idea how to date or if I'd even be desirable to a man - single mum of 2 kids and I knew I didn't want anymore children. I found my current partner only 5 months post split - probably wasn't ready but haven't looked back two years later. Absolute love of my life! X

Divorced and was a happy single mum for the next 7 years. Met my now partner through mutual friends and we just clicked. Been together 5 years now and this is what a relationship should be like .
If you're not happy and there's no fixing it then leave, you will find happiness again.

Ex husband left when I was 39. I felt like my life was over while he disappeared off into the sunset to his new life without looking back and leaving me with no money, 2 teenagers and a "doer upper" we had just moved into.

I finished the house on a shoestring and sold it to buy my own little house for me and my kids. I had a couple of years playing the field and dating lots of different men and then I met my now DH. We've been together 18 years and got married in 2020. With hindsight I can see all the faults in my first marriage but at the time I was completely blindsided.

There is life and love after divorce
I promise.

Thank you so much for your lovely replies! It’s been difficult as I left after 7 years when I was told to ‘fuck off’ and that I’m pathetic after expressing upset about his actions. This was an ongoing thing as well as being called a ‘fat fucking whale’ as a funny joke when pregnant and having nicknames of ugly and chubby for 7 years. Also 2 physical incidents over the 7 years. I left knowing it was right but unfortunately then went through a lot afterwards, and he’s had a lot of therapy and has been very kind and supportive when I’ve been depressed, has acknowledged and is very sorry for his behaviour. I think in many ways he has genuinely changed but there’s still some niggles there for me and my feelings haven’t just magically came back. I feel I’ve been pulled back in but he’s saying if we are going to try I need to fully commit and give him a lot of affection, which I can’t do right now. Just so scared or regretting it either way!

4 years ago I received a message telling my then husband was having (another) affair. Finally got the courage to end things after 12 years together.

I was also morbidly obese with rock bottom self esteem and 2 kids. Thought no one would ever want me.

I've now been married to the absolute love of my life for the past 6 months. I met him about 7 months after the end of my marriage. I've lost 10 stone and I'm a different person living a different (incredibly happier) life. It was quick but in reality my marriage had been over for at least a year before we split and it definitely worked out for me!

One of the most common regrets on mumsnet is "I wish I'd listened to my niggles". They are your brain's warning mechanism, highly tuned over millions of years of evolution, designed to stop you from staying with nasty pieces of work.

So he wants you to fully commit and give him loads of affection? What does that mean? Sounds very controlling.

And what's his commitment to you? Is he going to fully commit and give you loads of affection?

You're young. Do you really want to throw more energy and emotion away dealing with this man? He sounds pretty unpleasant to say the least.