Tired of partners lack of respect

[Jinx1290]

Quick background. Been with my partner for 10 plus years. Ups and downs like anyone. I'm finding myself getting more and more frustrated with the oh over him damaging things and not replacing them. Most recently being he's used our front room for his business for the past 2 years and damaged the flooring to the point of it needing to be replaced. He's since moved into an office space and everytime I've brought up replacing the floor we've ended up arguing over finances. I'd originally paid quite a bit for wood flooring (4 years ago) and asked him to get replacements for the damaged section (around £100 for a few boards) he's stating he doesn't have the funds to do it. But he's constantly ordering food in and I feel quite disrespected. I ended up purchasing it myself and asked him to fit it when it arrives (which was already agreed in conversations previously) he's now refusing to do even that. He states (I'll buy it when I'm ready) which from past experience could be years down the line or when I've asked multiple times. I know in the grand scheme of things this isn't a major thing but I feel so disrespected and undervalued it makes me think twice about being together in general. Our house is our home and after 2 years i can finally turn the living room around. It took quite a while for me to let him in and bring down my own walls in our relationship and this just makes me feel like I should never rely on him for anything, which is the opposite of where we should be after 10 years together. How would you handle it?

I feel so disrespected and undervalued it makes me think twice about being together in general

Have you told him this?

We've had conversations recently where this has been brought up. We've been really distant over the past 2 years as he's thrown himself in his work. Which, I'm extremely proud of. He's made a success of himself after having nothing and jumping from job to job. But our relationship has suffered because of it. I don't want to leave him, but unless he acknowledges how his actions affect us I don't see another option. At the moment, it's like we live 2 separate lives.

So he's thrown himself into his work and you have been distant for two years. He buys food in for himself, damages things and won't replace or repair and you are proud of him?

There's obviously more context.
Primarily, I was the main breadwinner. He job hopped for years (due to mix of adhd/tourettes) and struggled in a work environment. We sat down and discussed a way for him to earn a living. Which hes managed to do. That is what I'm proud of.

I'm not happy with his reactions to certain things in our relationship- such as replacing damaged items (I might aswell clear up that nothing broken is from anger before that is even suggested) it's just a frustration as he deems his income into the house should cover things like that.

We split main bills 50/50 and then have our own incomes for whichever we choose.

Why don’t you want to leave him?. Examine your reasoning for this far more carefully. You are not responsible for him and his actions.

Has he formally been diagnosed with Tourette’s and ADHD?

Better to be on your own than to be badly accompanied. It sounds like you’re carrying him through life at great cost and not just financial to you.

I totally agree with @AttilaTheMeerkat.

I'm not sure about your background, Opie, but I had very little growing up and everything I have in my home is hard won.

The idea of someone wrecking it horrifies me. The idea of him then refusing to fix it is really shocking. That would be enough for me to move out.