Would it be a complete embarrassment to tell this man I like him?

[Climber2]

There is a guy who is in my friendship group that I have been friends with for a couple of years (let's call him A). There was a period of about 3 months where we were messaging eachother nearly everyday, he was checking up on how I was when I was ill, and just being a good friend which made me wonder if he liked me. There was an instance where someone else in the group asked me on a date (let's call him B), I went on it, and A was regularly asking how it was going which made me sense he was a bit jealous. I didn't end up going on a second date with B and nothing happened with him.

I didn't fancy A at first but that grew after a while I'm normally like this with men, it takes me a while to fall for someone which means it doesnt happen often! But just as I put two and two together that I like this guy more than a friend and I was considering letting him know, the messages on his side suddenly mostly stopped. We don't really message eachother anymore. I have to stop myself from messaging him now because it doesn't feel like he's reciprocating. He's making no effort to come over and talk to me when we're hanging out as a group which is the opposite of what he was doing before.

I thought I'd leave it for a couple weeks and see if it's a temporary thing but it's been about a month now and everything has seemed to have died out on his end. It happened overnight, it felt like something suddenly changed.

So I never told him and I feel like an idiot, but makes me wonder what the hell was going on in the first place and why everything has changed? I wonder if he's dating someone now although no one in the group has mentioned anything about it and he's never mentioned anything. I also wonder if I got things completely wrong and he sensed I liked him and backed off. It's just very bizarre but I annoyingly still like him. I feel like if I tell him now it'll just be embarrassing and I've basically missed my chance. Do you think I should cut my losses or let A know?

Reading it all back it all sounds a bit childish but I'm actually in my late 20s!

I think I'd see if I could get the more regular contact back, maybe meet up once just the two of you and see if I could get a sense of things. If he was someone you knew more tangentially then I'd say just ask outright, but in a friendship group it's more risky if goes wrong.

The sudden lack of contact could have many reasons that make perfect sense but personally I'd also be ever so slightly wary that it could be that sort of punishing cold shoulder that you see in some abusive men. Just something to keep an eye out for but of course might be nothing at all.

I didn't fancy A at first

I also wonder if I got things completely wrong and he sensed I liked him and backed off.

Sounds more like he got the impression you weren't interested and didn't want to push it in a shared friendship groups.

Personally I'd just ask him out- but I'm too old for faffing around.

Thank you both for the advice.

Sounds more like he got the impression you weren't interested and didn't want to push it in a shared friendship groups.

I did wonder this too. It's hard to guage because I guess I'm doing just that too now!

It's hard to guage because I guess I'm doing just that too now!

I'm over 40 so waste a lot less time these days trying to guess what people think rather than just asking.

Ask him out: either date or no date.
Don't ask him out: no date.