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Original poster

Would he keep coming back if he didn’t like me?

28 replies

Kiki29 · 30/01/2023 19:56

Would a man keep coming back if he didn’t have some sort of attraction to you? I know he could come back just for sex but surly if he wasn’t attracted to me in someways or enjoyed are time together he wouldn’t come back?

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 30/01/2023 19:58

Surely the issue is not that he keeps coming back... it's that he keeps going away....
And if he didnt get sex...??
Wise up.

DoubleGauze · 30/01/2023 19:58

This type normally keep returning because you'll let them. If you don't let them they'll just find another person that will.

Don't think it's flattering op. It really isn't.

EveryoneLovesSausageAndChips · 30/01/2023 20:02

I had a friend who used to live next to an alcoholic.

Men at a local business would pop out on their lunch bread with a bottle of cider for her so they could have sex with her. I highly doubt they visited because they liked her.

Stop having sex with him and see if he keeps returning. If he doesn’t, you have your answer, but no man is worth this level of self doubt. Flowers

Watchkeys · 30/01/2023 20:06

Don't you want a relationship where it's made crystal clear to you that sex isn't all he wants you for?

Unless you want to be in a relationship where you have to try to work it out for yourself, this one isn't for you.

SunshineAndFizz · 30/01/2023 20:13

Sorry OP but sometimes they just like sex.

I know nothing about your situation though, so who knows.

Didyouseethateh · 30/01/2023 20:17

I’m not suggesting this is what you’re doing OP but at 23 my self esteem was so low, men kept coming back to me because I’d give them what they wanted, how and when they wanted it. If only I had that time again with a wiser head. However, at 52 I have quite good self esteem

mistermagpie · 30/01/2023 20:24

Yeah he probably fancies you, but that's not the same as liking you or wanting a relationship with you. I think you need to reframe it, not that he keeps coming back but that he keeps going away from you.

I actually married a guy like this by the way, he kept me dangling for years and eventually I think he just got to that age where it was time to settle down and I was still just 'there'. That marriage lasted 18 months, was a disaster, and I'm still not even sure he really liked me.

So it is possible have a relationship build on this kind of foundation, but it probably wont be a nice one.

SmileyClare · 30/01/2023 20:31

It would help if you gave more detail and explained the relationship you have with this man so that people can advise?

I suspect he calls all the shots and blows hot and cold?
In which case, get out now- he doesn’t respect you or want any sort of equal functioning relationship

aspoonfulofshoulda · 30/01/2023 20:32

In what way is he "coming back"?

Pesimistic · 30/01/2023 21:22

Yes he would, if he knew it was easy sex, unfortunately me do not have the same view in sex as women do. We need to have some sort of emotional connection to have sex ( not always but mostly) men can just want a release and if this person doesn't respect you will just keep coming back when's convenient to him just to get what he wants and off he goes again. How does he make you feel mostly, if it's loved, respected, secure then go for it, I suspect that you feel used, confused and like your hanging around for him in which case please block! Work on your self and find a man who will respect you.

AuroraForever · 30/01/2023 21:31

Sex or money or boredom.
Whatever you’re providing it’s enough to keep him there while you’re giving it/entertaining him. He may be into you but if he’s getting a better offer elsewhere he will go.

Ohthebanality · 30/01/2023 21:34

I made a post about something similar on Mumsnet a few years ago, a man who kept 'coming back' and I was sure this meant he must genuinely like me. I remember even arguing with people who tried to tell me he was just using me. A few years on and I have learnt the hard way that he was just using me, he liked me for what he could get from me, I served a purpose for him. That was it. He had no genuine feelings for me and as soon as he found someone who met his needs better he dropped me.

Dacadactyl · 30/01/2023 21:35

Of course he is just using you for sex.

Take sex off the table and you won't see him for dust, I 100% guarantee it.

squishee · 30/01/2023 21:38

Would he keep going away if he liked /cared about you?

SD1978 · 30/01/2023 21:43

(Some) men are quite happy to have sex with someone they don't find attractive, just to be able to have sex. They could even find you repulsive, but are able to close their eyes and get on with it........so no. There doesn't have to be something there, you can be used by someone who is looking for one thing only and has no emotional connection to you.

verdantverdure · 30/01/2023 21:44

Men go to back alleys and have sex with drug addicts with missing teeth I'm not sure they are necessarily at all attracted to.

Easy availability of sex is the main attraction.

workiskillingme · 30/01/2023 21:44

Kiki29 · 30/01/2023 19:56

Would a man keep coming back if he didn’t have some sort of attraction to you? I know he could come back just for sex but surly if he wasn’t attracted to me in someways or enjoyed are time together he wouldn’t come back?

😂😂😂aww bless you

LaLuz7 · 30/01/2023 21:50

If he really liked you, you wouldn't be here asking this. You would be happily coupled up and not questioning it.

Men keep women breadcrumbed and strung along for easy sex and an ego boost all the time. Don't be one of the naive victims of this behaviour.

Outingmyselfyetagain · 30/01/2023 21:53

squishee · 30/01/2023 21:38

Would he keep going away if he liked /cared about you?

☝️

BreviloquentBastard · 30/01/2023 21:55

If he liked you, he wouldn't need to keep coming back, because he wouldn't keep leaving.

Wise up OP, this is tragic.

villamariavintrapp · 30/01/2023 21:58

You're reading too much into it, he keeps coming back because he can.

Dery · 30/01/2023 21:59

“This type normally keep returning because you'll let them. If you don't let them they'll just find another person that will.

Don't think it's flattering op. It really isn't.”

This with bells on. Even if he likes you a bit and finds you a bit attractive, it’s clearly not sufficient to keep him with you. Get rid. Find someone who likes you enough to stick around.

Eatentoomanyroses · 30/01/2023 22:01

Grasping at straws here op.

PinotPony · 30/01/2023 22:02

Regardless of whether he finds you attractive, you let him treat you badly and give him what he wants. Of course he keeps coming back!

You'll ruin your self-esteem if you continue seeing this chap. Hold out for somebody who treats you with more respect.

SummerWinds · 30/01/2023 22:03

If he liked you he wouldn't behave like this and you wouldn't have to resort to posting on here. Ask yourself who is he seeing when he keeps disappearing, how many other women is he yo-yoing between.

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