Should I stay or should I go?

[Gertruuude]

I woke up one day and my mind was set, I have had enough. (DH not pulling his weight, not spending time with our boy unless forced, constant jokes at my expenses, undermining my parenting, egoistic and tight with money...and more). And when I confronted him and told him I had enough he changed in a snap.

Years of nagging used to bring 5 minute change. Should I give him one more chance? We've been together 11 years, our son Is 9 and I don't want him to learn bad habías from DH but I am scared of him growing up without dad. I can live on my own have no family to support me but copied on my own before so not scared of that. Do you believe that men can change? It wasn't lack of skill but lack of will before.

Up to you really. Do you want to give him a chance? You could give a timescale so he can prove that the change will be consistent, with a warning that if he slides back into his old habits that you're fine.

Personally, I wouldn't. He's not taken you seriously previously and is only changing as he'd have to become a proper grown up and do everything for himself if you leave.

Only you can answer this reply but honestly, in my opinion men like this never change. Been there and lived it with my stbexH. I ending up asking him for a separation after it became clear to me some of his actions were not okay.
, but one of issues over the years (14 years marriage ) was the exact same as you described. I found myself in a vicious circle of all was good for a while until he would slip back, I'd then pretend and ignore it had gone that way until I couldn't and I would snap, he would then once again promise to change and we'd be in another circle.
I even tried just doing everything myself, literally everything and be so nice to him and going all out to make him happy in hopes it gave him that boost ... he just took the p more.
If he cared to change, in my opinion, he would have by now.

Thank you. Sounds exactly like what he does. And I tried no nagging perfect wife that is happy ... didn't work either. It sounds bad but don't feel so alone any more. Thank you.xx

Life is shite isn't it? I had to leave my marriage too. You never expect this to happen but it does. 😔

So glad you made sense of that reply at some points. I’m rubbish at typing on the iPad for some reason.

It’s so exhausting isn’t It! I have been going round and round in these circles so long I am now at the point that I am more mad at myself than him. That I allowed myself to waste so much of my life waiting for a change that was never going to happen. We separated a few years back and you’d have thought even that Would have changed things - nope. Stupid me.
As I say there was other issues in my marriage, much bigger ones but this did play a huge part in my falling apart. I just could not keep doing the circles anymore.

when I told him I wanted to separate of course I got the whole spiel of … I will change, let me show you the man I can be, I know what I have been like and I won’t do it anymore.
I even got speeches of how we are soulmates, he can’t live without me and the most ridiculous one to date … how I’m a goddess amongst mortals in his eyes and he just loves me so much.

Hes even tried guilting me that I am throwing him away, rejecting him, must never have loved him yaddy yadda.

sticking to my guns has honestly been so hard but I just keep reminding myself that I never want to be going in circles again or looking back on my life and seeing nothing but miserable. I’ve also seen just exactly how much it was all tiring me and changing me as person now I’m out and I never want to be that person or feel those ways again.

Quite frankly if these men loved us and wanted to changed, they’d have done it or tried darn hard the very first time we went to them with our feelings.

you are absolutely and definitely not alone.
sending you hugs and love.
DMs always open if you need someone to natter too.