Leaving an avoidant narcissist

[believeititstrue]

I have been in a relationship unmarried with an avoidant who has many narcissistic traits. We have 3 young children.

This relationship has left me very mentally unwell.

I discovered some weeks ago he was having an affair with someone who works for him, he was instantly very "sorry" the lady was discarded losing a job she'd had for years (she believed she "loved" him) he seemed to be very unbothered it was just an inconvenience. She is also married with young children.

Anyway after all the years of devaluing this tipped me over the edge and I had a complete mental meltdown.

I am now feeling better and stronger and want out of this relationship so finally I was brave enough to tell him.

He said ok. Showing no emotion whatsoever.

The problem is he holds all the money, mortgage etc I do earn and work full time but I actual can't afford to leave.

My bravery is wavering and I desperately want out for myself and children.
Any advice appreciated

Can you leave with the kids and stay with family or friends until you figure out your next steps? You need to get as far away from him as possible. He may try to convince you to stay or start acting like everything is fine but you need an exit plan. Do that first and give yourself the space and time to figure out what’s next. Sending you lots of strength. You’re doing the right thing.

He's already pretending everything's ok calling me "baby"
Not this time you absolute tool.
Sadly I have no family, surprisingly I lost them all because of him.

If it means you & your children leaving this man, your family may decide they can help and welcome you back. I really hope so xxx

You need to call your local authority, whether it's money advice services or citizens advice and see what benefits you can get.womens aid will help you plan a way out. Don't let him hang around to fuck your children's heads up like I did. Which he absolutely will if you stay. Good luck