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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I right to be upset with MIL?

27 replies

EllieM103 · 29/01/2023 19:29

Hi all,

My partner doesn't have a particularly close relationship with my MIL. Since we've been together I've always encourage him to spend time with her etc.

A few months after having DD1, I set up a small business to support my maternity pay. This involved wholesaling particular items and reselling them online.

In the handful of times MIL has seen DD1 (who is now 6 months old), she has questioned me on every detail of my business, what I buy, where from, where I sell, postage etc.

She has then proceeded to do nothing more than the exact same thing! I feel really disappointed, used, and angry.

I feel that she doesn't have my partners, my daughters, or my best interests at heart as this business is purely to support DD1 whilst on mat leave.

Am I over reacting? How do you handle being angry at MIL? It's affecting my relationship with my partner now as I feel irritated at him too for telling her things, which I'm sure was done out all innocence.

Thanks x

OP posts:

ShakespearesBlister · 30/01/2023 08:48

DonatellaBella · 30/01/2023 08:39

Your first paragraph explains this. Your partner doesn't have a close relationship with his mother - there's a reason for that. YOU encouraged him to increase his contact with her, tried to make them closer. Why when it's none of your business? Now you know why he's not close to his mother, because she's not a very nice person and she finds him easy to manipulate.

Unless you explicitly told him not to talk to his mother about the details of your business he hasn't done anything wrong. He couldn't anticipate she'd run off and set up the exact same business because it's not a normal thing for a close relative to do.

What's done is done, so you need to move on and adapt/ diversify your business, and allow your husband to set his own boundaries with his family.

I think you may be right about the relationship between him and his mum. There was probably a reason he chose to keep her at a safe distance. Diversify the business 100%. There must be a way of using an additional item to go with the product in order to increase profit and sales.

Hotfootgoose · 08/05/2023 07:10

I wouldn’t speak to her again, she is toxic

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