Just that really. When we got together we were late 20s and liked partying and boozing, been together 13 years and now obviously we've matured and we don't really seem to have much in common. He's a lovely kind man, we share humour, but as we grow older I realise we probably want a different sort of life to each other.
He (like his family) like a sit down pretty much all the time, pretty lazy, gawping at the laptop or TV. I've always been really active and find it hard to sit still. Tried to find joint hobies but he's not really interested but will do them if I ask, but it's under duress.
If I 'nag' he'll get active but it's all for me and if left to his own devices he'll revert to type. That's fine if that's who he wants to be but it's so far removed from what I want. I used to want to travel the world, see amazing places, get busy with things like hikes, going to see new places, gigs, camping etc but I will have to organise everything if he's going to tag along, there's no way it would happen otherwise and we'd mainly sit on the sofa all day.
He does have his things - he plays in a band (not my sort of music!) and likes to read. But as he gets older he likes going out / making/seeing friends a lot less (never actually) and I feel a bit trapped in a life i don't want.
I'm happy to do my own things but now it feels sort of like what's the point if we spend all our time apart?! I envy friends who hang out with their partners/husbands and do social things together with friends.
No kids. Sex life has always been meh. I don't think I am his type but I do think he loves me.
Things aren't terrble, we're good friends and get on - so how does this work. Do you just stay until you can't bear it any more? I have found my head turned a few times recenty - I guess that's a warning. But we're perfectly ok and have our careers and our own interests. Seems extreme to break up and have all the hassle of selling up our lovely home and both moving into flats and separating and being lonely jst cos things aren't a dream relationship.
What have others done when things are just flat, no crises, no affairs, just chugging along but dreaming of a better life? I feel sad as I'm now 45 and realise life is short and if I don't do all the things I dreamed of soon, will they ever happen at all?
Thanks for reading x