Dear Mumsnetter's,
Long time lurker,never posted so please bear with me.
Dp and me been together 10 years, 3 young DC.
Dp cheated on me (on my birthday!) 5 years ago, split up for several weeks then took him back as we had then 1 child already (who was then 1 year old) so i wanted to try again for him. Things never really went back to normal,there was always lack of trust from my side ,been working on that lots and has improved but yet not the same,anyhow lately I've been waking up to the fact that he just has no regard and no respect for me,he does nothing in the house,doesn't help out with chores, yes looks after kids when I am at work (i work 20 hours a week and school hours only) but does the absolute bare minimum(feed water and change them if needed) and dumps kids on me as soon as I get in the door. Doesn't get involved with kids activities,birthdays Xmas etc,i do all the organisation and gift buying,Wich he also doesn't help pay for. Or for his families birthday/ Xmas.
He works fulltime but evening shifts.
Then there's the constant shouting at our oldest,making threats of wanting to kill/strangle him sometimes and it's just so upsetting, everytime he says something like that a bit of me dies, called our daughter a bitch, she was 14 months old at the time, in short will only ever do something if there's some sort of benefit in it for him,this also applies to sex,doesn't last to minutes and has no consideration for me,i feel like am just a vessel for him to blow his load into.
So Xmas came, he ruined Xmas morning as he couldn't cope with kids excitement,yelled at them and had to go upstairs to "lay down" didn't see him all morning not even when his own mum came by with presents ,had to go upstairs and tell him to come down and see his mum, thank God for his sister that somewhat saved the day as we went there for our Xmas dinner ,anyway Xmas over and done with, he then goes on a work do a few days later, didn't come home till lunchtime next day,no texts to let me know where he was or why he wouldn't be home, wasn't allowed to get mad at him as he had just fallen asleep on "someone's sofa" ofcourse I was mad and ignored him for rest of day pretty much ,then knowing it was my turn for a work do the following week i asked him,how would you feel if I didn't come home all night? To which he replied,"it wouldn't bother me " me the mother of his children,it wouldn't bother him if i didn't turn up and he didn't know my whereabouts?! I think it was then i checked out ,and realised that he treats me with utter disregard and has absolutely no respect for me, and to confirm that i learned tonight,after Alexa been so kind to tell me ,that he never bought a Xmas present for me, even though he moaned all Xmas that he felt so bad that my present got delayed in the post,he only bought it on the 2nd of January! So after all his carry on 🤬 sick and tired of being lied to, of being treated with contempt,the lack of respect and the way he treats the kids, specially the oldest (only 5) who also has additional needs, i could go on and on but it will turn into a book then,i think I have just fully woken up and feel disbelief.
Am I right to LTB? I am awaiting reply from woman's aid ,my healtvisitor has been so kind to speak to them on my behalf and they will contact me to advise on what steps to take next.