How often do you...

[gorillalala]

...and your partner have sex?
I'm more interested in replies from those with children.

Prompted by reading a thread on asexuality earlier today.. (just to explain the validity of the question before anyone thinks I'm a troll)

I've been curious about this lately, having had second baby 10 months ago and finally (a few months ago) finding more time to put more effort and thought into sex with DH.

I know that people have different sex drives and there may be no 'normal' amount, but since this is not something that I personally want to quiz friends about, I don't really know what the 'range' is.

For what it's worth - I would say I have a low sex drive, and DH would like more but understands that we're not the same.

Also for what it's worth, I don't have any issue in my relationship or sex life... just curious about what the rest of the population are doing :)

Thanks for any replies!

I have 2 kids. He has none. Every day, unless we don't see one another (usually only one day a week we don’t) sometimes twice a day. On holiday or a day off sometimes 3 times. We’ve only been together for a few years though. He’s the first man I've met where his drive matches mine and it hasn't died off loads within 18 months.

5 kids 16 - 7 at least once a day, more if we can manage it. Lots of flirty/sexy messages and hugs/kisses/hand holding. We really work at keeping that connection

Every other day just now (ttc). Usually 2-3 times a week.

5 kids, age 4-18, we’re generally daily but both love it if we can manage more and if for some reason we don’t then it’s lots of cuddles instead. I’m forties, he’s sixties.

We have a house full of teenagers and we have sex 1-2 times a week, we would both like more but we have to get up at 5am for work. We are very intimate in other ways all the time, lots of snogging and touching. Been together 9 years

We have a cosleeping breastfed 7mo and haven't had sex since just before I was pregnant. I have no drive, very tired, and have anxiety around her constant waking that kind of takes away any mojo..

She is our 3rd baby though. Before she was born, we had a 3yo and 7yo and were having sex 1-2 times a month. Dh works long hours so it was often due to me going to bed before he'd finish up at his desk. Sad really, I used to have a much higher sex drive and I think it's kind of washed away now.

Oh that sounds lovely. I really wish I had that with my dh. I've said to him many times that I can't just switch things on when he's ready, I need that connection and groundwork (so to speak) during the day. But alas, nothing! I have tried many times to instigate but I think I'm pressuring him into something he doesn't like to do and that's pretty unappealing so I've let it go and do my own mental prep. Putting this down in writing makes it sound pretty rubbish..

Twice a week at the moment, we have 3 kids, youngest is 3 months old.

@SquigglyGum I could have written exactly this. With a rough pregnancy and then a bf cosleeping 7mth old we've managed it twice since baby was born and twice while I was pregnant. I'd love to be more regular but it's very hard to find the time and inclination and it almost feels like it's been so long it's hard to know how to get back on track. I was starting to feel really wick reading all the other replies so glad I'm not alone!

We have 2 teenagers. We're together over 20 years, late 50s. Sex several times a month, varies a lot week by week and we go to bed different times so often impractical and we may have lulls! I know close friends (with happy relationships) who rarely have sex. For us it is a good healer in our marriage, it helps keep us together.

@Biscuits1011 I just want to say: "respect"
Lots of respect!

When kids were young I’d say a couple of times a week on average but I did have a dry spell after having my third when I was just drained, this was a couple of years after the birth and was just too knackered to be interested. I suppose through trying to juggle work, 2 kids to school and one into childcare and everything else. It caused real issues in our relationship and I’m convinced in hindsight that H (now ex) was sleeping with other women. Got over that when they were all a little older and a bit more independent and would put them to bed and have ‘date night’ downstairs at the weekend. Then I realised what a shit their father was and we got divorced, I met a man who would happily have sex three times a day, as would I when the children weren’t around! Got tricky again as they became teens as I’d fall asleep before they did and didn’t like the idea of them hearing.
Apparently the average is once a week, not sure where I read that, probably on here somewhere 😂

In my 40s and not married any more. But regardless I would say 2 or 3 times (occasionally 4 times) over a weekend, but very rarely in the week unless on holiday or not working.

For clarification, when people say how often they have "sex', does just intercourse qualify as "sex", or could it be something else, or say only one person receiving?

Two kids, 3.5years and 18months.

uts really hard to say how often we have sex, because sometimes it’s once a fortnight/once every 3 weeks. Then sometimes it’s 3-4 times a week.

Just whenever we’re both in the mood. We don’t pester eachother, we just

Currently 8 months pregnant and have only had sex twice since conceiving, I just can’t get in the mood for it. Feel for DH but it makes me feel a bit sick thinking about it

While I'm sorry you feel like this it's definitely reassuring to know we're not alone! I also find we can have an awesome date night, I'm really into it, then coming home and making small talk with the babysitter (plus a lift home for them sometimes) takes me right back to zero. It's so hard to find the mood, and so easily lost. Might try some day sex once the baby is reliably napping independently and dh can sneak away from his desk.