Thinking of ex when I'm with new boyfriend?

[closethedoorpleaseandgo]

Well we've been together 2 years.
My ex and I split 3 but he put me through a lot and he isn't a nice person but he can be so charming and lovely.
Anyway Monday night I was at a gig with my boyfriend and my ex was there with his GF and all I could think of was him.
It was me and my ex's fav band-we had seen them together and always played them together.
Certain songs made me feel a bit sad
But I love my boyfriend -I honestly do
I just miss the feelings I had with my ex
Is this normal ?

Anyone ?

I don’t think it is normal after two years, no. It was predictable that your ex would be there if you knew it was his favourite band.

I’d expect to be slightly nostalgic but not at all regretful or to have repetitive thoughts about the ex - based on the limited information you’ve given.

I think it's completely abnormal to miss the feelings you had with an ex when said ex is 'not a nice person' and 'put you through a lot' - why on earth do you feel anything but relief to be away from him?

It's actually 3 years since we split
Been with new bf 2 years

@balloontrip I miss the nice him
It was a messy situation and he was Jekyll and Hyde at times
Not all of it was bad

Seeing an ex can trigger certain feelings and emotions, and those can last a few days. I don't think what you're feeling is that unusual, especially with charming and charismatic characters.

I occasionally see an ex of mine and it will rumble around my mind for a week or so, but I've learnt to accept that.

Presumably you don't see your ex very often, so in a week or so you'll notice you stop thinking about him. I wouldn't worry.

It doesn't matter. The nice him wasn't real because nice people are nice people. You described 'not a nice person' who 'put you through a lot' - even if he showed you nice sometimes it wasn't worth the other.

the ex wouldn’t have been awful all the time… you we’re missing the good bits and if the other bit of him wasn’t awful maybe it could have worked perhaps? Basically a big dose and f rose coloured memory. It’s fine, as long as you realise that actually the bad outweighs the good and you were right to leave

Nostalgia for the good times, that’s all.

I think that’s normal, regardless of what an arsehole he was the rest of the time.

And, TBH, I think it would be the same even if he wasn’t an arsehole and you just split because you weren’t the right people for each other.

That chapter of your life is now closed and you’ve moved on but it’s okay to remember the good times fondly from time to time. Just give yourself a reality check every now and again and remind yourself of his Jekyll and Hyde character and the reason(s) you split.

I occasionally think of my exes if something reminds me of them – a song, a smell, a place, etc. I have a few minutes of wistful daydreaming then get on with my day. Most of them were decent guys, barring one, and I know I don’t want to get back with any of them.

Just memories, that’s all. Part of life's rich tapestry.