I just dont know what to do for the best. Together 16 years married 6 2 kids.
It's been a struggle I'd say for the last 4 years but I've put up with it. There's been so much but to cut long story short. He's turned lazy & disrespectful. Going out on benders taking dr*s. Even though I've warned him time and time again. I don't like it I know its the norm now to do a bit of sniff but I don't like it anything could happen its not worth it plus he's a mess when he gets home. Started going out without even saying anything like I'd be in bed with our 1 year old come downstairs he's disappeared phone him hes at the pub. Thinks that's OK but when I want to go out (maybe once a month) I have to pluck up the courage to ask him because he always moans. Last time he said if I go out he will lock the doors. He's closed down 2 business because he couldn't handle managing it, got us into debt because he was too lazy to set up a new direct debit to pay the bills. Constant debt letters for his tax, for materials he hasn't paid for and parking tickets because he can't be bothered to just pay for parking so it ends up being 300 quid. Last year alone it must have cost maybe 3000 on parking fines. He even got one in my car so it's in my name i was followed to school run and threatened to be towed with a baby in the back seat. Luckily I managed to talk the guy out of towing me. He couldn't be bothered to submit invoices to pay his lads and himself so he was going behind my back borrowing thousands off my mum (she told me) and then wouldn't pay her back for 5 months! Causing a strain on mine and her relationship. The last straw was he said im gonna go pub for a bit (on his own) he isolated all of his friends because he just "can't be a*d" that's all I ever hear. Anyway he went out at 6pm said only going for couple he came home at 7am next morning wouldn't tell me where he was or answer his phone. Came back off his Rocker on drugs. Found random strangers and went back to their house. On top of this he doesnt do any housework cooking cleaning I do everything and work full time. Anything I ask him to do he says no or immediately gets defensive and says well in working that weekend or I'm busy that day. I also found out after the bender he had been sacked the day before he didn't tell me. When I say sacked I mean the company he was contracted to found another contractor he isn't employed by them. So he still has other work but its like he has lost motivation in life goes bed at 7pm stays in bed all day. Yet pre covid he worked like a horse lates weekends multiple jobs on at once worked away if there was no local work. He's always been lazy in the house but I could handle that because he was a grafter at work and never took dr*s or went on benders he was sensible. But now I can't trust him to provide. I have separated from him because i couldnt take it anymore. but I don't know if I can afford to live alone. I would struggle I'd have to live back with my mum in 1 bedroom with 2 kids if I get no help towards my rent. He can't afford to pay my rent if he is going to rent somewhere else and he hasn't got job security at the minute so I can't rely on him. He's been saying he's sorry and he knows he's had multiple chances but he's going to turn it around. I love him still but do I stay and hope it gets better or go and struggle?