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Original poster

Would you find this odd?

31 replies

nessanona · 26/01/2023 07:38

In a recent trip to the supermarket by dh and me, we'd finished the bag packing. I was trying to find on my phone if an item they'd not stocked was available in their online shop. Looked up to say something to dh and he'd disappeared. Stood there like a lemon for 10 minutes wondering where he'd gone. Looked down the shop aisles, around other tills.

Turns out he'd disappeared to put the shopping in the car. He'd just gone without saying something like 'I'm just popping these in the boot'.

Is that slightly off? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have just disappeared from his mates/family in the same situation. without the courtesy of saying where he was going. He can't see anything wrong with what he's done. I think it's a tad disrespectful.

OP posts:
Zola1 · 26/01/2023 07:39

Bit weird but maybe he thought you were behind him or something, I would have just phoned my partner and said where have you gone

Mammma91 · 26/01/2023 07:41

It is a bit strange and rushed. I could understand if he was desperate for the loo or DC we’re getting impatient, but he’d say something. Did you try phoning him when you noticed he was gone?

Debtknell · 26/01/2023 07:42

Well, it’s pretty much invariably the next stage after packing your shopping — assuming the bags/ trolley were also gone, and you had arrived in a car, wouldn’t the car park have been your first assumption? Standing around for ten minutes looking down the aisles strikes me as the weird thing here.

rainbowstardrops · 26/01/2023 07:43

Maybe he felt like a lemon just standing there while you were looking at your phone and he thought he'd use his time wisely?

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 26/01/2023 08:19

Unless this is part of a bigger issue, it wouldn’t have bothered me. I may well have done the same, just cracked on with the job and left my DH staring at his phone!

drivingavanbacknorth · 26/01/2023 09:59

Did you tell him that you had been waiting around like a lemon? If so, what was his reply? On the face of it I agree it's weird and certainly unthoughtful.

Diplidocus4 · 26/01/2023 10:05

Did you notice the shopping had disappeared also ?

gamerchick · 26/01/2023 10:13

I'd have just rang him.

Olive19741205 · 26/01/2023 16:21

I'd walk away too if my partner pulled out his phone at the till and was hanging around.

LadyJ2023 · 26/01/2023 16:23

Not odd in my family it's men..tbh if that's what you have an issue with something so trivial maybe you have larger problems...I would just call hubby or notice shopping had gone lol

Original poster
nessanona · 26/01/2023 16:32

I said as I was looking at the phone what I was doing and was scrolling down trying to find the item we'd both wanted to buy. I was just about to say I couldn't find it there either when I looked up and he'd disappeared. My first thought was that he must have re-entered the aisles to have another look, hence me looking there.

I think it was just me he'd do it to, though, which is probs the larger issue that's bugging me. Pretty sure it wouldn't have happened like this if I'd been his mate/mother/sister

OP posts:
Moredrama · 26/01/2023 16:37

I’d initially think “thanks a bunch” but then assume he had headed to the car and made my way there or rang him.
He likely assumed you were following him and when he looked round and you weren’t there possibly thought the same of you as you did of him

QueefQueen80s · 26/01/2023 16:43

Yeah definitely odd not to say anything, I'd notice if you weren't with me walking out. Maybe his head elsewhere, maybe being passive aggressive.

LaBaby72 · 26/01/2023 17:49

I’d find it odd that my partner was looking to see if something was online whilst still in the shop. The beauty of online is doing it at home isn’t it? Not stood in the middle of a supermarket?!

Vallmo47 · 26/01/2023 17:55

My husband would agree with yours, he’s shopping, it’s not the time or the place to be on your phone. He sees it as just as ignorant as the people he finds blocking the entire aisle chatting. You’ve done your shopping, now team work to take it to the car and load. He’d get annoyed if I was letting him do the work without helping. Next time, try explaining what you’re doing so the other person has the chance to say “can it wait? Let’s get this done”. :)

LoekMa · 26/01/2023 17:55

Diplidocus4 · 26/01/2023 10:05

Did you notice the shopping had disappeared also ?

That's the real mystery here. Wonder what OP was up to while "standing like a lemom"

Where was your shopping cart😂

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 26/01/2023 17:58

I would find it a bit odd for my partner to be stood at the til, after paying, looking at their phone. If I started walking off to the car and they didn't move, I'd be a bit confused TBH.

Did you say anything before you got your phone out? Like "Hang on a sec, before we go to the car let me just double check again for that blue widget"? Could he have just though "Jeezus she can't put her phone down even in B&Q"?

Was there a bit of passive aggressive stropping off on his part? Or are you both just in your own worlds?

KettrickenSmiled · 26/01/2023 18:01

He can't see anything wrong with what he's done.
Of course he doesn't.
He didn't know you weren't paying attention as he oleft the shop the shop just as he usually does, to go to the car.

I think it's a tad disrespectful.
As disrespectful as ignoring somebody in favour of your phone, while they pack your shopping away?

DosCervezas · 27/01/2023 23:02

Maybe he disappeared because he's sick of seeing you attached to your phone if you can't even leave it alone when packing bags at the supermarket. Most of us don't realise how much we are on it and how distancing it can be to others. And we all think that each little browse is totally essential and the world will stop if we don't check that something, whatever it is.

BackAgainstWall · 27/01/2023 23:36

Personally I think it was very ignorant and bad mannered.

It would have taken him a matter time f seconds to have told you what he was doing.

I bet you felt like a right lemon looking everywhere for him.

potandcoffee · 28/01/2023 06:59

I find it odd That couples go shopping together, surely this is a massive waste of time.

Teeturtle · 28/01/2023 07:06

I think I would feel like a lemon waiting for you whilst you loiter by the tills on your phone when we could be making a move. I expect he was irritated by it and so went to do something more useful. I would have also thought it blindingly obvious he would have gone to the car and not taken the shopping that had just been paid for back into the shop.

Bard6817 · 28/01/2023 07:18

Does seem odd….

Was there any communication between either of you after the bags were packed?

if not, you blanked him to use your phone, he’s just got on with the job in hand.

Do you often focus on your phone? Does he do same? Wondering if he is feeling a little ignored over your phone use. it happens, we get ideas, want to follow it through right away, focus on our phones, block out everything else. That you didn’t notice your shopping go missing, is kinda a giveaway.

StickofVeg · 28/01/2023 07:31

I find it more strange you were on your phone And do engrossed you didn't realise he'd gone to put the shopping in the car.

Shoxfordian · 28/01/2023 07:33

He probably thought you’d go back to the car with him