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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should i put up with this?

8 replies

Jesswebster01 · 26/01/2023 07:33

Have been with my partner around 10 years have 2 children 6F 5M whenever my Partner goes out for a drink i dont hear from him till the next day he can never have a drink and come home he may go out around 4pm and i dont see him till around 12pm the next day he will ignore his phone and not respond to messages. Always says he has been at a friends drinking.

He does this around every 4 to 6 months sometimes he just goes to work he is self employed and then goes out and i wont know until he doesnt come home.

Ive been putting up with this for years he thinks it is no big deal ive had enough i think he just knows i am stuck and cant move out so he can say sorry promise not to do it again and 6 months later will.

The main reason i havent left is im scared i wont be able to afford it i did a calculation on entitled to and i think what i get would cover the rent on somewhere just worried if i could afford all the bills and furnishing it. I work full time but its still a big expense i currently have no savings and family cant help. Just after if anyone else experiences this and what you think? FYI he is 38

OP posts:
Mybumlooksbig · 26/01/2023 07:36

..and I presume he lets you do the same when you go out?
Of course he doesn't.

LTB.

You deserve better

Jesswebster01 · 26/01/2023 07:41

Mybumlooksbig · 26/01/2023 07:36

..and I presume he lets you do the same when you go out?
Of course he doesn't.

LTB.

You deserve better

Nope i never would its more the unknown im worried about if il be able to afford it and i dont want to move somewhere and the kids just be asking can they go home because that's not where they are used to living. But im also not willing to just put up with it for the kids.

OP posts:
Zuve · 26/01/2023 07:43

Men are wierd

AnyMucca · 26/01/2023 07:45

Read this before, unless there has been more than 1 selfish tosser doing the pubs and going awol.

namechangeforthisbleep · 26/01/2023 07:46

AnyMucca · 26/01/2023 07:45

Read this before, unless there has been more than 1 selfish tosser doing the pubs and going awol.

Lol, you actually think there's only one? 😂😂😂

Wakemeup17 · 26/01/2023 07:47

Erm... I do that. I'm an adult, I can look after myself, I come back home in presentable state...

Deathbyfluffy · 26/01/2023 07:50

Zuve · 26/01/2023 07:43

Men are wierd

So are some women, what’s your point?
Not all men would find it acceptable to do this, I certainly wouldn’t.

MangoBiscuit · 26/01/2023 07:51

@Wakemeup17 You go out all night and half the following day without even warning your partner you're going, and just assume they're ok with parenting solo while you do?

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