Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Relationships

Am I overreacting

12 replies

Confused8888 · 25/01/2023 23:33

My ex and I just recently decided to give it another go. We both have things to work on and are trying to do it.
He has joined a gym and goes 4 nights a week. We live an hour apart which means we can't see each other after. He gives me 3 nights a week where I can possibly see him but he keeps bailing on me saying he is too tired from the gym the previous evening. We both agreed to make the effort and whilst I am happy he is working on himself I feel he has no time for me as he is so tired all the time. Even when we do see each other on those days he complains about how tired he is and usually goes to bed early or naps during the day so we're not spending quality time togerher. We barely go out and have fun as he has no energy. I want him to be able to work on himself but also make time for me given how much he said he missed me just seems he isn't making the effort. Any advice would be welcome. As a side note I go to the gym 5 times a week but sacrifice a night to ensure I can spend time with him.

OP posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

vaccinistatotebagchicbarista · 25/01/2023 23:45

You need to ask yourself is it worth giving things another go if this is what you’re getting. You ended it for a reason the first time, it doesn’t seem like there’s been any positive change.

Please
or
to access all these features

lifeissweet · 25/01/2023 23:56

He isn't giving anything another go, really, he's trying to slot you in when he feels like it.

This isn't working, OP. I'm sorry

Please
or
to access all these features

Opentooffers · 26/01/2023 00:03

I'd say its likely BS that he's tired from visiting the gym the previous day. In fact if he's started going regularly as he claims, he should have more energy generally, not less. Seen any improvement in his physique lately, or is he actually busy going out socially- that would explain being tired the next day and is more likely.
Sometimes there are not great reasons why people chose long distance - exactly because nobody will know what they are up to.

Please
or
to access all these features

winterbegone · 26/01/2023 00:05

I agree he's not giving it much of a go! if you really want to see someone you make the time.

Please
or
to access all these features

Temporaryname158 · 26/01/2023 00:17

Someone who doesn’t want to do anything and is so tired all the time wouldn’t be for me!

4 times a week at the gym shouldn’t leave him feeling so tired. He’s showing you your future, is this what you want when this is the best he will be?

Please
or
to access all these features

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 00:25

You both have things to work on but he's choosing not to - this isn't worth wasting time on.

Please
or
to access all these features

LHReturns · 26/01/2023 00:28

He isn’t into you.

Please
or
to access all these features

RememberNancyDrew · 26/01/2023 00:30

He's trying to slot you into his schedule as he wants - some part-time or once a week role. I mean what is this? Give it a go, but don't be available to give it a go? Something isn't adding up.

Please
or
to access all these features

Glitteratitar · 26/01/2023 00:46

Would you go to the gym less if he went less?

Please
or
to access all these features

TheyCallMeMrBoombastic · 26/01/2023 01:17

Can't you go to the gym together?

Please
or
to access all these features

Dillydollydingdong · 26/01/2023 01:22

If going to the gym means he's too tired to see you, he shouldn't go to the gym. Really though, he just can't be bothered, can he? You live an hour apart, so that doesn't help. What's that? 50 miles? It's not going to work...

Please
or
to access all these features

Zanatdy · 26/01/2023 06:32

He’s clearly not putting much effort into giving things another go. Great he’s working on himself but it’s at the expense of your relationship. He should want to spend time with you. I’d be asking him if he regrets giving things another go

Please
or
to access all these features
Similar threads
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?