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Relationships

Do you feel love for your partner all the time?

15 replies

HMum19 · 25/01/2023 20:30

Does anyone find that the intensity of their feelings for their partner fluctuates?
I know I love my partner, so I don't think that ever changes, but I go through phases, such as now, where I don't feel as strong. I don't know if it's because I'm going through a bad mental health episode at the moment, but last night I just found myself looking at him and feeling... nothing. If anything he was agitating me, for no reason. I know in a few days i will probably return to normal of being completely obsessed with him.
I feel so guilty for feeling this way, is this normal?

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MacsJ · 25/01/2023 20:40

I think what you experience sounds normal. Just because of hormones, there's occasionally a couple of days of the month where if DH told me he wanted a divorce, I would be really calm about it but deep down the love is still there. If we are having a difficult time, I like him a bit less but again the love is still there. I know the good days will come again.

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PorkingThread · 25/01/2023 20:42

Hmm. I would say it's normal for your feelings to fluctuate. However, I would say it's absolutely not normal or desirable for anyone to be "completely obsessed" with their partner. That doesn't sound healthy for people in a long-term relationship.

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lovemenomore · 25/01/2023 20:44

Totally get what you mean. Although mine range from
Utter hatred to feeling okish about them.

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userxx · 25/01/2023 20:46

Hell yes, usually when he's being a massive bellend.

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Idontknowhatnametochoose · 25/01/2023 21:46

As far as my experience goes, it's normal.

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Heronswater · 25/01/2023 21:51

I had a text from a lovely friend today, who is a devoted DH and SAHP, which said ‘I really love [his wife], but I also want to put her head on a spike’.

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/01/2023 21:59

Lack of 'feeling' anything is totally a depression symptom. But you might be confusing normal time related changes in attachment/bonds if you still have other emotions.

It's normal to not be feeling all gooey inside all of the time - knowing you still do love them outside those hormonal moments is what you do when you're comfortable and secure. It's what comes after the initial infatuation stage and is how you don't actually wring their neck or start planning a new patio when they're being a bit of a twat.

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vaccinistatotebagchicbarista · 25/01/2023 23:53

Been together 5 years. I love him all the time - I absolutely do not like him all of the time.

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rebekahnorris · 26/01/2023 00:23

Yes and I have the same with friends x

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Margo34 · 26/01/2023 00:28

lovemenomore · 25/01/2023 20:44

Totally get what you mean. Although mine range from
Utter hatred to feeling okish about them.

Same. Not forgetting the range between the ick and pure lust, as well. 🤭

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Luredbyapomegranate · 26/01/2023 01:26

I always love him, but I can combine that happily with everything from mild irritation to boiling hatred. Sometimes it very much annoys me that I love him.

I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed by him though.

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TheyCallMeMrBoombastic · 26/01/2023 01:59

Remember the phrase "there's a thin line between love and hate"!

Most of us get angry at our partners, want some time alone and get the ick at times. It's natural!

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Hummusanddipdip · 26/01/2023 02:10

The love is constant, however the like changes.
I mean, he's my best friend, I've chosen to spend my life with him, however there are days (when he doesn't see what needs doing, is an asshole to ds) when I'd happily punch him.

I think Pink puts it best in her song true love, but these lyrics stand out best
"At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck"

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momager1 · 26/01/2023 03:11

I love my husband so much. that never changes. HOWEVER somedays I do not like him very much. I am sure he feels the same. But the love is there and carries us through the moments that I just want him to go the hell away from me lol

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Aprilx · 26/01/2023 04:34

I honestly don’t think it is normal to swing between being “completely obsessed” and not feeling anything. If I glance at my husband and take a moment to focus on him, I can only think of how lucky I am and how much I love him. I have never been obsessed with him, not ever, that is quite an alien concept to me.

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