I’m at a point in life where I’m assessing options and would like your points of view? I am 50s, have been with my husband for many years, have grown up children but as we married late I have been married six years (so a short marriage).
I am not a thrill seeker and don’t necessarily want to LTB but wonder what you would do in these circumstances.
I hate the term ‘D’H so let’s call him Mike (not his real name).
Mike is mean and uncommunicative. Emotionally unavailable most of the time. Never says nice things, criticises, always right - shows many narcissistic traits. If I try to talk to him he’s not interested at all and I get one word responses at best.
Mike is much more financially secure than I am. I’ve always worked full time, other than short periods of mat leave. We have separate finances. We split the childcare costs but the house is in his name (remember short marriage). He has a wardrobe full of designer gear and spends £1000s on boys holidays and his hobby. I get by on my wage but have no savings despite working full time all my life. I buy nothing extravagant.
We married due to ill health (mine) but I have since recovered. I asked him and he says I forced him into it.
His friends think he is kind and loving. He puts on this impressive act and always has done. They have no idea how he is behind closed doors.
Our children adore him. He acts for them too. I often wonder if it’s me, if I have a super power that sees beyond his bullshit.
He’s not particularly generous with the kids either, just enough.
There’s no violence or neglect - although I do wonder if the complete lack of any emotional support is neglectful?
Is there more to life than this, or is this life for many? It could be a lot worse, he’s not a drinker/gambler/violent?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Crossroads - advice please
JustHimself · 25/01/2023 17:34
cosmicbabe · 25/01/2023 18:27
Honestly it sounds like you are his mum whom looks after his children while he lives his single lifestyle with his friends.... I would be very surprised if he doesn't cheat on you on all these weekends and nights away. Thats just how it reads...
category12 · 25/01/2023 19:40
You only get one shot at life. Do you really want to spend the rest of it this way?
When you were ill, did it not make you think - "is this it?" a bit?
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