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Relationships

Anyone struggle with no contact?

7 replies

Enidwolf · 25/01/2023 11:19

My 2 year relationship ended 2 weeks ago. He moved out and I was devastated.

I've joined an online course, downloaded peanut app,made plans to keep busy and focus on me.

My ex is now saying he misses me, sending me messages etc . My friends have all said block,delete no contact but I'm struggling to do this. I think maybe that if we were to get back together the same issues would be there and his solution is to leave and stay at his daughters.

I'm struggling with him being out of my life for good if I go no contact, its really done then isn't it?

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heidihigh · 25/01/2023 11:25

As hard as it is at first, no contact (in my experience) is easier in the long term. As the days go by you find yourself thinking of them less and less each day. Obviously everyone is different but in your shoes I think I'd try to go no contact if you feel getting back together isn't right or any issues haven't been addressed.

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Dodecaheidyin · 25/01/2023 11:28

My ex is now saying he misses me, sending me messages etc

So it hasn't worked out (in two weeks!) with whoever he left you for.

If you feel like contacting him, leave it for half an hour, do something else, and if you still feel like contacting him then, leave it for half an hour, do something else and if you still feel like contacting him think of all the bad things about him for half an hour, do something else ...

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Carter12 · 25/01/2023 12:27

Finding it really hard - she reacts to some messages and not to others. I am still trying to get her to drop off my belongings so making it difficult to block outright

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Carter12 · 25/01/2023 12:28

Although would also find blocking very hard!!!

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dolor · 25/01/2023 12:30

Name change fail @Enidwolf

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GoldDuster · 25/01/2023 12:31

if I go no contact, its really done then isn't it?

Yes, and that's the point. Although it seems brutal it's easier and less energy and heartache in the long run to rip the plaster off.

If your friends are advising you to block, delete, no contact, take their advice.

It will need you to accept that it's over though, and not leave the door open for a him to get his foot in...

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frozendaisy · 25/01/2023 16:29

Resuming contact and moving back in together are two completely different things.

You could keep him at arm's length saying you need to see actions not words and you wil not be living together again for the foreseeable and you will be building a life that doesn't include him at the same time because right now you cannot believe he won't just up sticks again.

Then you will see how serious all the "miss you" messages are.

But I would carry on for a long while assuming and living life as if he isn't and won't be part of your future. And don't sleep with him either he might just be looking for easy weekend sex as he has tried a couple of weekends out and got nowhere.

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