Been married for 20 years, and if I am brutally honest things haven't been great for the last 10, though last 2 or 3 it's really been starting to show. We have kids aged 12 & 14.
Outwardly things look fine, and no big issues like affairs, gambling though pretty much all intimacy has gone. We have simply become more and more distant, both emotionally and physically with us both spending time with apart different hobbies, kids activities etc. His work& hobbies often takes him away 1 or 2 nights a week, and we both enjoy the break that provides. Our conversations are about plans and schedules, never about emotions, our beliefs and interests though sometimes we debate the news, things about the kids, what colour carpet to choose etc! But there is no spark or connection and lots of bickering about day to day stuff
Hubby can be prone to stress, probably has ADHD and can tend to go into himself shutting me out without sharing his problems. I have tried to get close, help support etc but he is not good at letting me in, and over the years I guess I have given up trying
Divorce has crossed my mind as I don't feel I am getting happiness from the marriage, but actually I have realized that I do still love him I just don't love the state of our marriage.
So where do I go from here? We have lost the ability to properly talk, I don't think we even know where to start. I think we need some sort of marriage guidance, but have no idea where to start (google just provides a billion options). How do I find someone, how many sessions, do we go together or separate, virtual or face to face?