Speaking as a man who lacks ambition, 😆
I work in the NHS and have settled for a low income job with little chance of career progression, but it is my life, I love what I do!
No one is to blame in these situations, I think clear communication is the best policy. Trying to fix, or alter someone is not healthy for both parties, as they say in those 12 step programme's " I have no power over others", or something like that!
The only question I would ask the OP is are you happy, living what sounds like such a demanding life? What is driving your ambition, if you really love what you do. Then by all means continue, but if its for financial, societal or peer pressure , or something in your past?
You may be throwing away a good relationship, and look back later in life with some regret, which I suppose is why your here asking.
Maybe you're trying to have your cake and eat it, if you work such long hours do you even have time for a meaningful relationship?
If he is not doing his fair share in other ways like being emotionally supportive or doing chores then you need to communicate this to him. if he's expecting you to do everything then ditch him, that simply isn't fair
However, I see many parallels
My ex had a very high powered and well paid job and she too became resentful due to the disparity in our income and working hours, It eventually ended our relationship.
She earned a great deal more than me, I'm financially pretty ok, but when something went wrong with the flat like the boiler or appliance's, she would often have to front the money, I would pay always her back in instalments.
She would often work 12 hour days, eventually she became more resentful at what she saw as my cushy life, I only work 6 hours a day due to a minor health condition
I did my share of housework. I made breakfast everyday, paid for most of the groceries and did most the food shopping as she worked from home, she conveniently forgot that she lived rent free for 18 years in my flat.
I know It wasn't intentional on her part, but her constant criticism, slowly chipped away at my self esteem. In turn I became resentful towards her. I just felt I was never good enough for her.
I really didn't want to leave the job and colleagues I loved.
After 19 years together, I caught her on having an affair with a colleague.
Like a hand grenade our relationship was over
Anecdotally,
Maybe its my upbringing and Nordic culture, (I'm from Finland originally)
But in my culture, career and income along with class status are not a priority in relationships and friendships. It is very common for a woman in Scandinavia to earn much more than their Husband. Men cook clean and take an active role in childcare. A car mechanic can be best friend with a banker, no one gives a shit about job titles, just human traits like personality, humour and intellect
I previously worked in a dementia and elderly care unit after a few years, I began to notice a pattern many of our patients, who I felt were way to young to be in a care home.
They where driven career types, with high powered jobs that had retired young, some where barely in their mid 60's, But and looked like they where in their 90's, they'd burnt themselves out.
Whilst they might have invested in their careers, they neglected friendships relationships and hobbies.
No one wishes they spent more time at the office on their death bead and who wants to be the richest person in the grave yard!
Some people are content in life to stay where they are, there's nothing wrong with that it may seem they lack ambition but if they are happy it is unwise and even cruel to expect them to change to your will.