AIBU to think..

[Brightstar29]

It’s odd my new dp’s ex-wife has kept his last name even though they don’t have dc? Tbh, they were married about 7.5 years, together 14. They have been separated 3 years now and divorced since 2021, they don’t speak and it was her behaviour towards him which triggered the break up (I appreciate I only have one side of the story). It’s not a massive issue but I just think it’s a bit odd? I’d understand if they shared children but they don’t.

Well it's not his last name, it's hers. She's had it for years and she can keep it for the rest of time if she wants.

Many women don’t change their name, and that’s fine, as when you get married and you take your husbands name, it’s not a condition that you change it if you get divorced. Maybe she can’t be bothered with the hassle, new passport (cost) etc.

It's probably the hassle of changing everything over. I think lots of women keep their married name after divorce because it's easier. I don't think it's that odd.

It's not odd.

As per pp, it's been her last name for some time.

Also - time & expense to change it even if she wants too.

DH's ex-P changed her name by deed poll after they separated; she'd been using his surname for some time without formally changing her name, and then formally changed it after they separated. Used to grate, but it's water under the bridge now.

Changing it once is enough of a hassle. As soon as it became her name, it's her name to do with what she wants, no requirement to give it back along with half the CD collection.

It’s not just his name. It became her surname when she changed her name to their shared one.

It’s entirely up to her if she continues to use her own surname.

I changed mine back. But then I regretted changing mine in the first place.

My Dps ex wife, never changed her name and kept the surname from her first marriage. Between them splitting and divorcing she did start using his name. He wasn’t bothered she kept her name from her first marriage as it was the same as her kids. He did think it was weird she started using his name when they split up though. But ultimately it wasn’t a big deal.

She didn't borrow the name when they married OP! It's now her name

its her name though. if he doesn't want the same name as his ex, maybe he should change his name to something else?

I changed my name on marriage for reasons unrelated to taking my husband's name.

We've been divorced for 10 years now and I haven't changed it back. If I remarried, I wouldn't change it again either.

It's my name now.

What an odd thing to be bothered about!

Are you meant to change it back? Im not planning too when i divorce

From what I’ve heard from other women in this position, quite a few don’t go back to their maiden name because they say quite simply they’re not the same person they were before and that was a different person to who they are now. Who knows there could be traumas related to her old name that you don’t know about?