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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Done something super stupid by accident ...wwyd?

15 replies

lonelylou09 · 24/01/2023 09:41

So last night on Facebook timehop it popped up 7 years since I started dating my ex. We had blocked each other so I was surprised to see his name highlighted and clicked on his profile out of curiosity for a nose. I know I shouldn't as I have been with my O.H now for 4 years and am very happy with him.
This morning I get a notification that ex has accepted my friends request....
Oh no way did I press that button...he is super toxic and has gone down the route previously of messaging current partners and friends to cause trouble. So don't know how that's happened and I'm mortified and now scared he will message my O.H as I know he would of noted his name down.
I blocked him straight away but now wondering if I should tell my O.H what I've done or just pray he doesn't actually try to cause trouble for once?
I have a good relationship with O.H but we have both worked hard to build trust with other due to our pasts.
I did think about sending a message to ex to say sorry it was a mistake..I didn't know I'd pressed the friend request button and I'm happy please leave me alone but he's not the reasonable type...
Wwyd? Help!

OP posts:
hollyberrytree · 24/01/2023 09:44

Block him

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 24/01/2023 09:44

Just keep him blocked, don't message and there's no reason to tell your partner.

Mountain & molehill spring to mind

Parkmama · 24/01/2023 09:44

Tell your OH and it will put your mind at rest. Explain you were curious and sent a friend request by accident which was accepted, how embarrassing etc etc. You haven't done anything wrong, you're happy with OH and you were just having a nosey. If you start apologising, it gives the impression you do have something to feel guilty for / worry about.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 24/01/2023 09:46

Facebook has a bug where it adds people when you've just clicked on their profile.

It's a known issue.

Just explain to OP, it's not that big a deal.

JimDixon · 24/01/2023 09:49

ToBeOrNotToBee · 24/01/2023 09:46

Facebook has a bug where it adds people when you've just clicked on their profile.

It's a known issue.

Just explain to OP, it's not that big a deal.

SHUDDER!!!

Surely it doesn’t!?!

America12 · 24/01/2023 09:56

@JimDixon it did it to me , fortunately not an ex. It was 'someone you may know'
I clicked to be nosey then they accepted me. I definitely didn't request them 😬

Shoxfordian · 24/01/2023 09:58

Yep just keep him on block and don’t say anything

skgnome · 24/01/2023 09:58

Just tell you OH, if you’re concerned even a tiny white lie, hey my toxic ex added me on FB, I’ve blocked him, but just a heads up

Onnabugeisha · 24/01/2023 10:01

Block and tell your partner you did a stupid user error. Hiding it is toxic and isn’t how you build and maintain trust.

RebelliousStarrChild · 24/01/2023 16:27

Don't message your ex. Do explain things to your partner asap

Orangu · 24/01/2023 16:28

JimDixon · 24/01/2023 09:49

SHUDDER!!!

Surely it doesn’t!?!

It doesn’t.

TinaYouFatLard · 24/01/2023 16:29

ToBeOrNotToBee · 24/01/2023 09:46

Facebook has a bug where it adds people when you've just clicked on their profile.

It's a known issue.

Just explain to OP, it's not that big a deal.

Please no.

larchforest · 24/01/2023 17:01

I get hundreds of those 'someone you may know' things, and I never know any of them. Gets on my wick a bit actually.

ManyNameChanges · 24/01/2023 17:16

I’d say that for whatever reason, you’ve just had a contact from your ex in FB.
That he is really toxic so you’ve b,Ickes immediately.
Thats it.

If the ex contacts your DH, sends a friend request/whatever, he’ll know where it’s coming from and that you REALLY don’t want to be in contact with him.

End if story

ManyNameChanges · 24/01/2023 17:17

Oh I’d also ensure that your and your DH profile are private if they are not already.

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