I don’t know if I’m just being sensitive at the moment but getting fed up of “D”Hs comments. I know it’s not a big thing but you know when it’s a lot of little things that get on your nerves. For example he just came in the living room and said it was hot as I had the fire on, I said DD wanted it on and he said “you’re the adult”, I was cold also but is it wrong that he said this?
I have also felt lately he makes lots of passive aggressive type comments, like “why hasn’t x been done”? It’s obviously that nobody’s done it, so is he basically saying “why haven’t you done it” to me, when he could easily have done it himself, by making the comment? When DD wants something she automatically shouts for me and when I say that there are other people that could help he says “oh but she wants you”, that’s because I’m always the default parent.
Another thing that annoys me is he has said several times since we’ve been together over 20 years that he has had to lower his standards when it comes to the house being clean and tidy, this is despite the fact that over the 20 years he has never done any regular cleaning or washing, including when the DC were little. I admit that I am untidy and a bit of a hoarder but he said if I wasn’t tidier he wouldn’t bother either but I said if everyone did their bit I’d have more time to do mine. He’s only started recently putting away his own clothes and pants and socks after I’ve gathered them together. These are some examples.
He used to work away part of the week and I couldn’t work out why I’d sometimes be glad he was away despite having to do everything for DC, and I’ve recently come to the feeling that it was that I could relax when he was away and not feel criticised and judged. He would probably say I’m just being over sensitive, am I or would you be fed up?