think this is it now - handhold

[finallybroken]

Namechanged. Been on here before asking for advice about my unhappy marriage. Combination of DH's bad temper/moods, coupled with career failings/financial irresponsibility (meaning my savings and income are always the fallback). So disappointing.

Earlier this morning I found out he's bent the truth about a large and overdue bill - it's not the first time. I was (understandably) pretty upset. But he doesn't care that I'm upset. Actually said he didn't care anymore, and he's 'sick of being told off by me.' Fine. I've lost all respect for him tbh.

4 kids - 2 of them with public exams coming up. No extended family support at all. No idea how I'm going to do this. I just need someone to tell me it will be ok.

Its going to be a lot bloody better than it is now, that's for sure!!

If you've made the decision, it's a case of stepping through the process of seperation and divorce until you're done, one bit at a time.

Before you push any buttons, if you've not seen a solicitor yet, gather all of your financial information, mortgage, any credit cards, loans, car payments (debts) and savings, plus both of your incomes and any pension information, and make an appointment.

It doesn't sound like there's much finanical transparency so be prepared to do a bit of digging, and keep this to yourself, before you make an appointment and seek legal advice on the seperation and what your options are.

@GoldDuster - thank you. Broadly, there is financial transparency - but with this he neglected to tell me that a bill hadn't been paid, so now we have to use our savings (that came from some money I inherited) to pay it. This has happened so many times.

It's not even so much the money - though I resent it and it's caused me to lose respect for him because of his own crappy career/financial decisions. It's the fact that he clearly doesn't CARE anymore that he's not providing for his family .