Never been scared...

[KathrynOfArrogance]

I gen don't know wtf is wrong with me

Met a lad, get on so so well, he's met my child, I've met his child, the kids haven't met though as we have opposite weekends (bit of a nightmare), he's been with me in my local, I've been in his blah blah

Probably been seeing each other since start of Dec
Now here comes the problem...
Normally if I sh¶g someone straight away I completely lose interest, so with him I haven't even touched him. So now I'm wanting to I don't know if I've made myself scared, is there too much riding on this now and it's making my head west? I know if I get with him it will be a long term thing and I think I'm freaking out that if the springing is sh!t I'm going to be disappointed!

Don't know wtf the point of this is, other than I'm h&rny and want to bang him tonight while both child free.... 🫣🫠😂

You have only been dating a few weeks but have met each other’s children?

There's too much riding on it because you've made it that way. Why have you introduced your child to this man? That's what's causing the actual issue here. You've involved him in your life without even really liking him.

You're also having sex with people because you're horny rather than because you want to - which is why you go off them when you've had the sex. Do you actually feel sexually attracted to him?

This won't end well....you need to approach this like a mature adult....why have they met your child? You don't even know what the 'relationship' is...

Couldn’t focus on the actual point of the post after reading you met each other’s kids after a few weeks.

Agree. How old are you? You sound very young and like you are approaching this in a very immature way. Why on earth have you met each others kids?

Sorry missed out an important bit of info, we have known each other years just never been romantically involved, I met his daughter when she was little as his family are my close friends, he hadn't met my son as he is younger. I just don't want to f it up I guess!

You’ve probably built it up a lot by not having sex yet. I have been seeing my bf since end of November so similar timeframe and we waited 5wks, largely only because of childcare issues! We haven’t even considered meeting each other’s children, none know their parent is in a relationship and they won’t for a good few months yet. I won’t be introducing them until I know it’s for keeps. I wanted to know we are sexually compatible before it got too far involved, and pleased to say we definitely are and my god so happy I met him! Haha.

scale back the kids being involved, see if one of you can swap the weekend around and just enjoy each other for now

Do your children know you are seeing each other ? How old are they ?

If not, as PP said, just don’t tell them (helps as families are close), and follow your instincts/wishes when the children aren’t present and see how it goes, like any relationship ?

If they do, well you’ll just have to cut back as PP said on any time with them, and the phrasing will depend on their ages ?

Sorry missed out an important bit of info, we have known each other years just never been romantically involved

A classic update 😉

Classic pile on of disapproval without having a clue about someone's life.

A vital bit of info haha his dad died suddenly in nov that's why I reached out to him and he will proudly smirk I "I slid into his DMs" 🫣

No the children just know us as friends don't see us kiss or anything like that. Was with my child's dad for ten years and he got with his gf four weeks after we split and my child knows they are romantically involved and have been from the start. I know my child is upset when they argue as they are on an off in their relationship so there's no way I would allow my child to be heavily involved in my relationships. As most know it's hard as I single parent to find any sort of time, so he met my child purely as a friend

OP you haven't answered the important question: are you sexually attracted to him or do you want sex because you're horny?

Yes sorry, very much so

Charming

In that case, if you have a good relationship and you're very attracted to him, I don't think having sex as a natural next step will put you off.

And, if it does, at least you know how.

*now not how

Typical MN!

I think you're right

What will you lose if you have sex.