Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AMIBU?

7 replies

loupielou1 · 22/01/2023 23:07

Hi all. So the last two years I've had ups and downs but last year was the worst. I split with my fiancé due to cheating and emotional abuse I would say. I told my best friend at the time about it all and that I was depressed and going through therapy etc. she asked how I was each time and I answered honestly. (I didn't message her first btw, as I didn't wanna bother anyone with how I was but she was persistent for to me talk even if I replied with I'm ok) I asked if I could see her and she replied that she didn't think we could be friends or meet up anymore etc. I told her I really wanted and needed a friend at the time but she ignored me. Anyway just after new years this year, she messaged me and asked how I was and that she cared but she doesn't see us becoming friends after last year but wanted to know if I'm ok and how I'm doing and understood if I didn't message her back. Well I got really pissed off with this message. I didn't message back straight away but after a few days (and a couple of drinks) I did message her and basically told her how dare she message to ask if I'm ok and what I'm upto nowadays considering she doesn't want to be friends and ghosted me when I needed her when I've always been there for her in the past. She replied that she couldn't be my fiend as it was all about me me me at the time and I didn't ask how she was. I told ger I don't think she knows what depression does to people. That depressed people are about themselves especially when reaching out for help and I apologised for bothering her even though she messaged me telling me she was there for me. I even said how I've been there for her when she's had problems and she had never asked how I was either at that time but I was still there for her as I understood the need to vent and be oblivious to anyone around you when you're in a state. She literally just "liked" what I messaged with a thumbs up and I unfriened me on social media.

Sorry for the long post but I'm wondering if I should'nt have blown at her and that maybe I was a bit harsh? but I thought she was just being nosey rather than friendly and clearly needed to vent to me about her problems like usual and pretend nothing happened. I have felt like she just used me to feel better about herself in the past tbh

OP posts:
loupielou1 · 22/01/2023 23:12

Oh and just to add... on social media she has obviously seen before messaging me that I've been focusing a lot more and becoming happier and my career thriving. So just think she only wants to be there for the good times

OP posts:
FeinCuroxiVooz · 22/01/2023 23:13

yanbu, she said she didn't want to be your friend any more so how you are and whether you are ok is no longer any of her business.

loupielou1 · 22/01/2023 23:14

@FeinCuroxiVooz that's exactly what I though. I'm just doubting myself I guess (low self esteem)

OP posts:
NonJeNeRegretteRien · 22/01/2023 23:18

Doesn’t sound like you’re very compatible as friends tbh. Best for both of you to move on.

I don’t think I would have responded to her message; she already made it clear she had decided to end the friendship, why continue to prod you? I would stick her in the archives and move on.

loupielou1 · 22/01/2023 23:21

@NonJeNeRegretteRien exactly what I've done; put her in archives. I realised we wasn't very compatible as friends before I had a mental crisis tbh

OP posts:
loupielou1 · 22/01/2023 23:23

Her message after new years was 6months after the initial message of not wanting to be friends anymore while I was going through a mental crisis etc

OP posts:
loupielou1 · 22/01/2023 23:27

And she replied to my message when I said she's right that we can't be friends after last year .. was that I'm obviously not over it but she is. I found her to be very nastistic if that's what it is?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page