i (30 F) met a guy (31 M) last summer who ticks absolutely all of my boxes. I had been on the dating scene for quite a few years before meeting him - and feel really lucky that he has come into my life.
The only problem is that he came out of a pretty long term relationship (eight years) a few months before we met. After getting to know him a bit more, I found out that the house that he lives in is something they had bought together. They can’t sell the house for another three years due to the fixed rate mortgage they have and possibly incurring quite significant fees if they sold during this period.
he lives in the house and has a lodger , and she moved out when they split and into a house share. although they are not really on speaking terms (other than discussing house-related matters), she still keeps some things at a wardrobe at the house.
Although he has explained the fact that the relationship hadn’t been going well for quite some time, that it was the right thing for them to split, and that he is serious about our relationship, I can’t help but feel a bit rubbish about the situation.
Things are going really well at the moment, and normally at this stage I’d be feeling quite excited about the future (thinking about possibly moving in together later down the line etc). But if the house can’t be sold for three years, it limits what we can do once we get to the stage of wanting to move in. There’s no way of us buying together during that time, and it seems like it would be awkward if I ended up moving into a house he owned with his ex (and surely she’d be able to block that from happening?)
im trying to enjoy the time I am spending with him but feel like this is at the back of my mind constantly. I feel like I’ve been waiting for years for a relationship like this, but I am worried his previous relationship will somehow impact the progression of ours.
Am I worrying about things unnecessarily?