Potentially 6 years before moving in

[Deservebetter1]

Been in a great relationship for over 2.5 years. I’m 47, he’s 53. Both have our own places. Neither of us keen to rush marriage but it’s been discussed but he has a big property that I really don’t enjoy going to, although he looks after me well. There is talk of us moving in but realistically not for another 3 years until his place redone and is the right time to sell. It’s not the worst problem I know but tbh I feel like it’s best to call it quits and just move on with my own life rather than my life being dictated by when a house is ready etc. potentially 6 year courtship and honestly….well…can’t help but feel I’m better to just move on. Feels like limbo and life on hold with no input from me. Any advice would be appreciated

I'm confused, great relationship so why are you going to leave him because you cant move in together?

Why can’t you move in for three years?

why is it going to take 3 years to decorate?

why can’t he move in with you?

Can't you compromise somehow? Why quitting it all right away?

Sounds a bit like a tantrum to me.

Very tantrum yes

Relationships don't have to be defined by living together. I have no intention of living with my dp due to various factors. I understand if its important to you but why throw away an otherwise good relationship just for the sake of waiting a few years? Or is it not so great? I'd be wary of any partner wanting to rush into sharing a home within a short space of time.

I'm confused. He has a large property that you don't enjoy going to even though he looks after you well. As a result of you being too fussy to go to his large property, he is willing to sell after renovating to keep you happy?

Yet you're throwing your toys out the pram as you deserve better?

What are you doing in this situating? Can he move in with you?

You can have a happy relationship without living together you know, I prefer to live apart, I need my own space.

As someone else has said you don’t have to live with someone. It’s going to be 3yrs at least until I could move in with my bf due to kids in school and living in different areas. Doesn’t mean I can’t stay over, joint holidays etc. If the relationship is the real deal it’s worth waiting. I wouldn’t consider ending things now as we can’t live together for 3yrs. It sucks, but that’s life and might keep the spark alive with no domestic drudgery.

What else do you "need" to be getting on with in the meantime? Job promotion etc.? Is waiting 3 years to see how things pan out really such a deal breaker, if all else is great supposedly?

I feel like it’s best to call it quits and just move on with my own life

Do it then.

My partner and I are probably 5.5 years from being able to live together. I simply won’t consider it until my last child goes to university. Not ideal but I feel quite strongly about not subjecting teens to a blended family. It’s not necessary. Hopefully I’ve got at least 30 years to go . I can wait a few years

Are you in love with each other or not?